Welcome To The House of Love

   My children and I have a good life together, we love each other very much.  I used to have a silly song I would sing throughout our house, basically it had one line.  

"Welcome to the house of Love, Welcome to the house of Lovvvvvvvvvvvvvve." 

 It grew on you once you heard it a hundred times.  

     My beginning years were filled with little peace or happiness.  My mother was busy struggling to survive with the four of us, my dad having moved out by the time I was a teenager.  My beloved mama and I are extremely close, always have been.  I love her dearly, although back then we didn't often have the presence of mind to express our feelings.   Thank goodness we are able to now.  My days of youth for myself and my 3 siblings were difficult ones, because of this we didn't always walk in harmony. 

     It amazes me to be in this beautiful circle of life.  To have a chance to heal from my past by creating a joyful existence with my children is a blessing I am entirely grateful for.  My home is filled with all the peace and love I missed as a child, more so than I could have possibly imagined.  I know I am gifted to have such wonderful companions.  With very few minor skirmishes and differences of opinions, my children do not fight, nor do they treat each other, or anybody else, with anything less than kindness and respect.   In many ways we are all growing up together.  I am happily reliving my youth.   

     I have come to realize for every time I choose to treat my children with patience and love, I am healed.  For every time I choose to be frustrated or reactive, I learn to forgive, myself, and others.   There is one thing I know for sure, not everything is black and white.  My parents did the best they could at the time, based on the lessons imprinted on them by their own childhood history.  We are all here to grow, both on a personal level, and just as importantly, on an invisible yet finely tuned Spiritual plane, we are all connected.

     Though responsible for our own actions, I believe my ability to heal and forgive will contribute to the greater good of all my relations.  Past, present and future. The house of Love in which I live, permeates myself and my children, hopefully spreading outwardly in other miraculous circles.
Looking back at the little girl I once was is easier from my new perspective.  I am thankful for my parents, my brother and sisters.  I wouldn't be the person I am now if it wasn't for the Love and Beauty in all of us, even if we weren't able to express it so easily back then.  The spark was there within each of our hearts, giving us a chance to rewrite what was needed, to create who we have now become.  I wish for my children a continuation of the same.
Love heals all things.  Extending forever forward and as far back as our Spirits can remember,
 there is no expiration date for Beauty.
Carrying within us the seeds of despair, passed on by those who came before us, can be a gift if only we would recognize our ability to transform this legacy into something greater than before.  Each generation has a chance to replant gardens from the past, beginning with the healing power of intentions, blossoming under the light of hope for our present and future days.
Been awhile since I sang my song, I am thinking I might start singing it to my children once again.
After all, it's up to them to add another verse,
It was good enough I was able to think up the first line.
Happy Gardening
In Healing Love~
Raven

I Never Cry

     Everybody cries, some people easier than others.  Crying has been a part of our life since the day we were born.  Lots of people try to hold back as if its a sign of weakness, and in some cases it really is.  Tears are not always acceptable, and often used as a clue to whether someone may be emotionally strong enough to survive if things go wrong.  

     Crying can be controlled to a certain extent.  I have stopped myself on numerous occasions when I didn't want to show my feelings, look bad in front of someone, or mess up my mascara.  This is not always easy for me, I am still in training.

     When I was younger and not as practiced, my composure was a lot harder to maintain.   Back in grade school, playing marbles at recess was a big thing.  I happened to be one of the best shooters.  I had the largest collection of Catseyes and Boulders of almost every bright and shiny color imaginable to show for my efforts.  I kept mine in a bag carefully placed in the back of my desk.  One day I reached in to get them and they were gone.  I knew without a doubt who took them.  Two girls who shall remain nameless, Terry and Fatima....grrrrrr.....they were best friends and very tough, I was scared of them but loved my marbles.  I told the teacher and she sent us to the Principal's office.  They of course denied everything while fiercely glaring at me.  I basically sat there and cried, although I may have been able to get out a sentence or two, the details are hazy.  I never did get my treasures back, and to this day I cringe at my inability to express myself back then.  Perhaps this was one of my beginning motivations to becoming a writer.  Writing is a good way to get your feelings out without letting anybody in too close.   I could be crying right now and you would never even know it.  

     Like marbles, tears come in all different colors of the rainbow.  Happy, sad, angry, disappointed,  frustrated, ecstatic, regret, joy.  I think for every emotion we may have there is a special tear that goes along with it.  There is nothing like the overwhelming depth of a feeling and the calming release crying can bring.  I realize this and make sure if I feel the need I allow myself the time and space necessary to heal. 

     Weeping can be a beautiful thing.  My children and I have a good family friend, a 'super macho tough hell raising martial arts' kind of guy.  I found out recently he cries whenever he experiences an Opera.   I look at him differently now, respect him more for being so vulnerably human.  Solitary or in the midst of others, for whatever reason crying softens and frees us from having to remain in a place of emptiness.  Nothing can be accomplished by hiding behind an unyielding wall of self denial. This is what crying is all about, letting down your defenses, not hiding, becoming real.  I believe it was the test for when Pinocchio became a live boy.  

Of course, just like everything in life there is a balance.  

There are many painful tearful moments I do not look forward to, 

but if my time here on earth is mixed up with those Beautiful Joyful tears,

then to me its totally worth it.  

In Heartfelt Peace

~Raven~

Being Female or Why I Love Men

     I love everything about being a woman...not because I don't like men....because I do, very much so.  I just prefer the subtle nuances and obvious talents of being a female.  This is not to say women do not have some of the same characteristics, abilities or attitudes as men.  There is I believe, a distinct and definite boundary setting us apart.  I for one, am happy to be on my side of feminine mystique.   In general, I enjoy the  huge range of possibilities despite being from what some
'poor misguided people' consider to be the weaker sex. 

     I realized very young how to use my femaleness to my advantage.  Once I got my braces off and blossomed in my teenage years, I became really dangerous, to myself and others.  Females have this innate treasure, just by being female.  Its like finding yourself queen of your domain at a very young age, too much power poorly used can be somewhat destructive.  Peasants were rebelling everywhere, and I was almost forced to abdicate my throne.  Thankfully I was able to pull it all together, creating for myself a prosperous Kingdom where I am now free to make my own rules.  

     In the current day and age we find ourselves, there is a blurred line defining what makes a man or a woman.  For the sake of simplicity, and because I am speaking for myself, my lines tend to be more firmly etched.  I love and support the many different aspects of humanity and am not claiming any disrespect for those who live or act otherwise.  My views of what are distinctly male or female have been created from the Realm of my experiences.  You, in your Kingdom, will have your own.

     Sensual ~ Mysterious ~ Graceful  ~ Clever ~ Seductive ~ Beauty ~Strength  ~ Temptress.....
These are all part of every woman's arsenal, along with many others, our ammunition
to use at our disposal as we see fit.

Throughout the ages, women have survived by plying their feminine wiles on the powers that be, mainly men.  An artful dance entwining our paths and bodies together, used strategically to protect our assets, stay alive, and if lucky, eventually insuring our ability to prosper without having to answer to any masculine rule.  Allowing ourselves to Live Independently under the Love and Protection of our male counterparts is a whole different story.  Men are born to be Warriors and Creators, and although I consider myself both, my energy and intention are what separates us, keeping us on definite sides of the monarchy.  

     The other day I was at a friends house with my children.  The owner's dog, a huge 170 lb beast named Cyress, closely resembling a large black bear, was pacing in the next room.  Apparently he had been aggressive most of his life, and in the last year suddenly became friendly.  Warily I sat there, watching him out of the corner of my eye.  In a quick move, which I saw in slow motion, he leaped over the wall of chairs being used as a gate, entering our room.  I believe he came in peace, and maybe for a slice of pizza.  However the gentlemen sitting with us, a 25 year old Marshal didn't ask, without hesitation he jumped immediately to his feet, bellowing out a loud and stern command and hauled hungry sweet dog back into the kitchen before I could even blink.  

     This to me is the Beauty of a Man.  The ability to act assertively, with Precision, Strength and Assurance.  Blessed with the inherent power gifted to them to Love, Protect and Serve, by whatever capacity they are able.   One of the many reasons I so enjoy being a woman is to be a reciprocate of this mighty force.  Interacting with the energy of yin and yang, choosing to yield or stand firm, allowing yourself to use soft or hard effort, are all different aspects of being male or female.  I relish in the differences keeping us apart as we journey through life. Of course teasing and diverting men along the way is one of my favorite pastimes, something I have discovered a natural affinity for and apparently one of my inherent gifts.  

     The fact that a mere woman has the influence to change history, destroy and create empires, or reign over her own Kingdom by the subtle sway of her hips and the wisdom of her heart, is an amazing capability.   Men may rule, but perhaps its time to recognize the much needed Balance of Feminine Spirit.  Without the Queens and Princesses to Charm and Inspire the Males of the World, 

who else will they have to Love, Honor and Serve, except themselves, 

and we all know how boring that would be. 

In Love and Feminine Grace

~Raven

     

    

       

A Glimpse of Time

     Today I caught a glimpse of grace in the flash of a moment while standing in line at a store.  I was thinking of nothing but waiting for my turn, my thoughts flowing aimlessly, unimportant details wandering about in my head.  Florescent lights flickering, people busy all around.  Suddenly and quite clearly, from out of nowhere it seemed, my entire being filled with a deep recognition of truth. 

"This exact moment will never come again."  

     The normalcy of life going on around, totally unremarkable to inspire such a momentous thought is what struck me so vividly at first.  No magical sunsets, no looking into the eyes of my children, no miraculous happenings, nothing but myself in a store.   Almost like being in a black and white dream, abruptly awakened to a world of brilliant vivid color.  This, I thought, is my life right now.  My minutes are slipping by and I am not even paying attention.   Time keeps moving, whether I am doing something meaningful or not.   In my heartbeat I could feel my life slow down to that one exact moment, and it was beautiful.

     "Life is not a dress rehearsal," my mind immediately thought of this saying.  How true it felt.  Being in the Now, Living in the Moment...all these things were going through my head.  This epiphany I had was so much more then my not dwelling in the past, or focusing on the future.  It was about the offering of time we all take for granted.  How many ways can we choose to waste this precious gift.  How often do we grumble and groan, check out of our hearts and heads, letting the hands of each hour drift by without knowing or caring of their passing.  Too numerous I am sure.  Many of us are forcefully awakened in moments of crisis or threat.   Measuring time in this way is usually not our choice.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to walk hand in hand, really knowing the friendship of each flickering instance in our every day lives.  

Before I knew it, I found myself back in my car on my way to the rollerskating rink, listening to the chatter of five happy children.  I put aside quickly my realization in the madness of their chaos, but throughout the day I found my thoughts drifting back to that one divine moment.  I won't let myself forget and slip back into my unconscious wastefulness.  Life is a blessing, not to be measured by our lack of time, but by the very sacredness of each and every breath we are given.  

One of my favorite groups, The Rolling Stones had it right when they sang,

 "Time, is on my side, Yes it is,"

If only we would slow down enough to realize.

In Peace and Awareness

May you Walk in Beauty My Friends

~ Raven ~

Dancing Days are Here Again

During my years as a teenager and up into my late 20's, I didn't have many overwhelming concerns.  Even though I lived on my own and had a job, life was very simple.  My world was a mix of sunshine, parties and following my heart.  I still abide by this same philosophy minus a few parties, along with a sense of grown-up stress I never had before.  Of course I didn't have 3 children to love, and a house I was responsible for, things were very different.   Why is it for many adults, including myself, do we allow ourselves to become completely over burdened by our worries.  I wonder if there is a way to walk thru life, caring and responsible, yet light hearted and free.  I never used to be troubled about things the way I am now.  I find myself reaching for balance, desiring more moments of peace and joy, and less of anxiety and fear.  
Recently, I discovered a picture of myself back in the day, barefoot and laughing, dancing on the beach.  I remember the easy spirited way I used to be, always carefree and vibrant.   Slowly, I am releasing the weight of the world off my shoulders, doing my best to reclaim this lost self of mine, mixing it back in with who I have become.  Embracing and letting go has become my newest philosophy.
There are some happenings in life never to be fully accepted or understood.  I think about a very beautiful young woman I knew for many years, who recently passed away.  Riding on the back of her boyfriend's motorcycle she was hit by a car and killed instantly.  How people endure tragedies and move forward, step by tiny step is a miracle in itself.   Everybody has their own stories of sorrow, becoming part of who we are, never to be the same or forgotten.

Sometimes by studying an older person face, you can see the way time has permanently etched the passing of years.   Easily discerned are the history of days shown for all to see by the depth and direction of every line and crevice.  Contemplative worries, mouths more used to smiles or turned down by frowns.  Our eyes, windows of our soul, show the steps of paths taken, shadowed by sadness and beauty.  No longer easy to hide who you are, or where you have been, the masks we use becoming fragile, thinned out over the space of seasons and not as flexible.  What will my face show when I am an elder, will people see beneath my lines and shadows, knowing also the beauty of my days.
 I hope so.

 I am not discounting the reality of difficulties.  It's what we do with everything which has become my center of attraction.  I know for many life can seem to move from one struggle to the next, finances, health and relationships can be a source of hardship.  I have come to realize the beliefs we choose to follow, and how we either accept or change our destiny is in our own hands.  We all are given the gift of free-will by our Creator.  Ultimately despite outward appearances and wherever we may dwell, how we choose to live from our hearts and actions are our sole responsibility.   

I am tired living as if I must be emotionally prepared for anything that comes my way.  Often I feel like a rabbit running across an open field, my every senses attuned to the possible dangers.  I miss who I used to be.  I choose to believe my loved ones are safe, all is good, trusting by faith in my blessings.  If life becomes difficult or a situation arises, then hopefully I will face it with as much grace and dignity as possible.
 In between rare moments of genuine concerns
I make a new promise to myself.
< To keep my mind and spirit in a place >
of lightness and joy as often as I can
< spinning gracefully in laughter and beauty, >
 Free once again to dance
< on the sandy beaches of my days. >
In the power of embracing and letting go,
I Pray this Blessing for All.
May you Dance in Beauty my Friends
~ In Peace, Raven ~

Power of Prayer <> GRRRRRR

It is only 7 a.m,  I went to sleep at 3 this morning.  Today is the first day of spring.  I welcomed it in last night underneath the brightness of a super full moon, a "parigee", a rare and beautiful occurrence where the moon actually appears bigger and brighter than normal.  I had left yesterday for a powwow with my children with no intentions or thoughts to the evening ahead.  Wanting to be somewhat on time, we departed in a swirl of haste with my scolding ringing in all of our ears about the dawdling being done.  I try to be a patient mother, but alas, I am not always successful.   

I enjoyed seeing my friends, life was proceeding at its normal and usual pace, all was well.  Until, that is, an elder, a healer, walked up to me and very calmly stated I needed to do some seriously needed prayer for my children.  Everything inside me stopped, including my heart and my breathing.  Was there anything wrong in my family he asked, are they well?  My whole being fell into a whirlwind, a tailspin of fear filled my soul.  A part of me managed to step quietly aside and watch as if from afar, grasping to find meaning to what was being said.  I trusted this man, I knew his family and close friends.  I had been invited earlier this day, before the mayhem of my soul, to participate in a sweat lodge ceremony.  Though I had agreed to consider the invitation, in no way was I physically or mentally prepared.  My plans were to go home and relax.  I knew my children would not be interested, I wasn't even going to ask, getting to the powwow itself had been tiresome enough.  All these thoughts flashed rapidly through my brain as I stood out there in the hall processing the possible truth of his words.   I understood I was standing on the edge of a cliff, I could choose to totally dismiss all that was being implied, or I could fall to me knees in a panic.  I chose neither, I waited.  Going to a ceremony out of fear was not going to work for me.  Prayer is never wasted energy, especially when it came to my children.  If I was to take this walk I would do so out of Love.  Quietly I took my children aside, Deven 14, Kai 12, and my daughter Tiana 9.  Briefly I told them it had been suggested we go to a ceremony because our family needed prayer, they didn't have to participate, but would they like to go.  "Sure," they all agreed, "Long as you feed us first, we're starving and unless we eat we are going to need more than prayer to survive."  I laughed at their silliness, fed them, and found myself following my friends on a surprise journey.  

"Nothing in the World, is Stronger than the Prayers of a Mother, where there is fear, there is no Faith."  This had been told to me by the elder before leaving.  These words became my mantra, my focus, my empowerment.  No longer caring about warnings or possibilities.  I immediately turned into a mother grizzly bear, nothing was going to stand in between me and my babies.  Before I knew it, not only was I sitting in the lodge along with my 2 boys across from me, my daughter was waiting outside for her duties as the designated door keeper.  My children had never participated in a sweat lodge ceremony, and it had been about 5 years since I had.  I worried for them in the intense heat, especially my youngest Kai.  Heat and him did not usually go well together.  My eldest son Deven, shielded his brother all his life, it was their way.  Nothing could be done to protect the other from the heat, each on our own, our only protection was the strength of our spirit, and our prayers.  I let my concerns go, and pray I did.  "Healing and protection for my children," over and over, in every way, shape or form, I could say it, feel it, breathe it.  Without thought, without fear, I roared these words to the Universe.... respectfully of course.  After each round I would immediately look across the burning mist covered stones to find my boys, upright and strong, side by side, each powerful in their essence.  My daughter, as young as she is, mature beyond her years, able to handle her duties with a grace and beauty I will always remember. 

We left late, wanting to be home cozy in our beds.  I drove over 2 hours, quietly talking to my babies, reflecting on our journey.  None of us will ever be the same, in a good way.  Personally tested in our hearts, and finding a deeper Spiritual connection then we had ever known.  Whatever path we had been on yesterday morning, my children and I are now on a new one, decided upon by the
Power of Prayer 

"Healing and Protection Surrounds us, and I am Grateful."  

My gift last night was adding to my new belief, the word, "Family."

 "For Nothing is Stronger in the World than the Prayers of a United and Love filled Family."

  Last night my children and I were Blessed under the Brightness and Beauty of a rare full moon, 

what could be more Magical than this.  

In Faith and Healing My Friends,

~Raven~

Challenge to Action

Our earth is in dire circumstances, and has been for a long time.  Though this may surprise you I am not unaware of the despair and hopelessness affecting our world.  The most recent earthquake in Japan, and the serious ramifications of this natural and man-made disaster is both heart breaking and scary.   Hard for some to imagine any good coming from this.  I see, and hear the Universal sorrow and fear.  In my home, I know my children have their own worries of black holes, polluted waters, and mass extinction.  Nobody is immune to what is happening.  

  We all have choices to how we process reality, based on our Spiritual beliefs or lack of them, our general focus of doom, redemption, and disdain alongside those of rainbows, miracles and hope.  Many falling in between.  I am not placing any judgement or criticism to how people may think or feel.   We have our own journeys and histories.   My way of seeing the world is personal, (although not very private), we are all unique.  What I would like to share with everybody is a Challenge to Act.  Think of the many stories we have heard in our lifetime alone where,

 'One person makes a monumental difference for the good of mankind,' 

  Imagine the millions of untold stories quietly going on everyday, positively affecting our world.  What would happen if we each chose to do something, anything.... to make a small change.  From picking up litter, reducing our use of electricity,  planting a garden without pesticides or fertilizers, buying from local farmers, recycling, carpooling, hanging our clothes to dry, or even showering with a friend :) will all make a positive impact to the health of our earth.  Here is a link I quickly found, however feel free to do your own research for more ideas.  http://www.50waystohelp.com/  

There are many who live a life of complaining and pointing fingers, blaming everybody for the state of our world, when the reality is we are all guilty of wasting and abusing our natural resources, sometimes daily.  Taking responsibility for our own actions is always a move in the right direction.  I understand by looking at the huge problems we are faced with, these things may seem small in comparison, but its better than doing nothing.  

For me, "Walking in Beauty," means being grateful for the multitude of miracles is my my Life.  I believe our time here is Sacred and not to be taken for granted.   Being aware of my Blessings, and focusing on the Beauty of our every moment, is what motivates me to dream of a better future for our children.   Thoughts of Prayers and Hope are more powerful I believe, than we could ever know.  Whatever it is we are each able to summon up from our reservoirs of humanity, now is the time to put it into practice.  There are some organizations and leaders trying to make positive changes, find something to believe in and act.  Being knowledgeable about what is happening in your community and town is another way you might be able to help.  Sometimes voting does make a difference for the good. 

 I certainly am not negating the harshness of facts. 

I am merely saying there is also a Balance of Beauty.  

Joyful and Healing Possibilities are definitely within my realm of Belief, 

maybe you can make a little room in your Heart for them also.

Wishing Everybody Prayers for a Healthy Earth,

Walk in Beauty my Friends

~Raven~