This year has been a shaky one at best. I barely recovered from one upset only to be hit by another of the same caliber. How do you stay strong when the places of your heart are reverberating in continued sorrow. I feel broken. All the positive ways I believe have not made a single dent to the island of sand in which I'm trapped. I am here because of my choices, yet wanting to pull away. No one holds me against my will. Unable to summon up the strength to leave I focus only on what I have lost. A victim to sadness. I wake daily wanting to feel better, to reclaim my dreams yet weighed down by my inability to accept reality. Trapped in my own story.
I am more than this moment of weakness. I am a Goddess, a Joyful Spirit, filled with Amazing qualities. I am a Diamond, a Sensual Majestic Being. Then why? Why do I measure the goodness of my beauty against what is no more. Am I not complete on my own. To give away the power of my happiness cannot be healthy or wise. All or nothing I decide. Nothing is what I have left.
I do not discount the wonder of what I experience. I do not regret the knowing. To lament any further becomes a clamoring to those around me. I have become a martyr to my desires. Promises made under the darkness of night shine dull in the light of day. Tarnished, they speak in hushed tones, mocking how I once believed them to be of pure gold.
There is always tomorrow. I pray the spark of joy within, flares brighter than it has before. Life changes in the blink of an eye. If I am to move forward, then let it be by my own strength. In the long run, I am all I have. To free myself, or stay buried.....The possibilities are endless.
I will try again in the morning.
~Raven
I will try again in the morning.
~Raven
