My younger son Kai and I were out shopping for birthday presents the other day for his older brother. I don't often spend time with him alone as my children and I almost always travel together in a pack. As we walked across the parking lot my natural inclination was to reach out and hold his hand. Realizing he is soon to be 12, I felt myself pausing before our hands met, asking him if it was okay. "Sure mom," he said with a grin. I smiled at him, relieved he felt so comfortable. I laughingly told him that I have come to a point in my life where I want to hold hands with everybody.
When we are little it's easy to grasp on to the loving hand of our caregivers, needing to be guided and safe. Like many parents in the animal kingdom, keeping in close contact with our young is a natural and instinctive response.
Innocent and free, holding hands with other children without any of the self imposed social barriers is also a normal part of sharing ourselves. However as we grow older, no longer acting as openly, holding hands becomes something calculated and less casual. Becoming one of those unspoken social rules in which you can be ostracized by not obeying. Upsetting as it may feel to a parent, its important to realize this time as a normal period of pulling away, necessary for independence. Some children go through the process gradually, while others are moved to travel through it much faster. These boundaries for children, can be a natural part of growing up and learning to stand on their own.
Around this time, fascination with romantic interests often takes place, and adolescents are now dreaming of holding hands in an entirely different and exciting way. I think we can all remember a time when we stood on this nervous precipice, gathering up the courage to reach across the line of our singleness to take the hand of another. A world of innocence and magical awareness, unlike any we had ever experienced, found only in the warmth and energy of another human being.
One to another, palm to palm, fingers entwined.
As we travel through our many stages of life, the simple act of holding hands can create healing across the lonely distance of separateness, mend broken hearts without saying a word, or simply say I Love You, You are Important to Me. Hopefully there comes a time for all of us when we are transported back to the innocence of our youth when reaching out to hold someone's hand is done without measuring the cost or implication. Touching is an important part of life if done with respect and kindness. Holding hands with another connects us deeply, forming a link ancient in its beginnings. Reaching out to touch the hand of another is a way to communicate all we might not be able to say with words, or simply as a reminder to our
Strength in Unity.
Strength in Unity.
Walking across the parking lot with my son's hand gently nestled in mine
will forever echo in both of our hearts,
Separately, Standing on our Own,
Together, We Walk in Love.
In Beauty & Peace,
Raven
