"Seeing the Beauty in Another ~~~ Helps Me to See it In Myself"
I think we often have a picture in our mind's eye about how we may appear to another. Sometimes I feel a certain way and then happen to glance at myself in the mirror, pleasantly surprised I look better then how I was feeling inside. Of course this also works in reverse, sometimes I may feel pretty, and once seeing my reflection am disappointed to find I am more then a little off in my illustrious visions. Unfortunately, we are all under our own delusions, subject to inner reality, loyal only to what we believe to be true about ourselves.
Day to day we change...mood by mood, our self esteem, good and bad feelings, full moons or high tides, all affect our perceptions of appearance. Others may perceive us far differently then what we may have imagined in our hearts. Personal worth is very complex.
It is often said how, "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder." I believe this to be true. People are attracted to one another from their own expectations, experiences and preferences. Everybody has a different concept to what is pleasing. The more confidence a person has, the more beautiful they will appear. I can focus on what I don't like about myself, thinking its entirely obvious to anyone looking at me, when really (I hope), no one else is seeing me in the same light. I've been self-critical my whole life, and have been working on healing from this for a long time. Passing on the legacy of destructive thinking to my children is not what I desire. The world of entertainment, gives all of us a reference point we can't possibly meet, making it harder to not compare or judge ourselves. Growing older for me has just provided more hurtful ammunition. I know this is an inside job however much I view it from my outside human persona.
Its not a vanity, more of a self-defeating behavior.
My cousin came to visit me one holiday several years ago. She and I are similar in appearance, although a few years younger and with an added expensive glamour giving her an exotic worldly presence. One morning she awoke and wandered out into my living room. Looking at her messy hair, no makeup, puffy eyed from being up most of the night visiting with me, she was not her gorgeous best. However as we chatted I saw her beauty in an entirely different and unfamiliar sense. Her mannerisms, the way she smiled and talked, her animated grace and earthy vibrancy, her essence and spirit showed through in a way I had never noticed before. In that moment I felt my eyes were opened. Maybe, I thought, this is how others view me. Not as a person to be picked apart, but as an entire being, beautiful in my own unique way. How wonderful to have this epiphany. I have been a lot softer towards myself, and others ever since.
Recently I found a quote by one of my favorite inspirational speakers and authors, Dr.Wayne W. Dyer. Reading it I was greatly impacted by the value of his words.
"To be attached to your physical appearance is to ensure a lifetime of suffering as you watch your form go through the natural motions that began the moment of your conception."
Realizing the truth of this statement has been very freeing.
Last weekend, I spent some time with a new group of women. I enjoyed their company immensely and am blessed to have made their friendships. What an amazing day we had, laughing and sharing, each one glowing with their own unique beauty. I know if I were to quietly take any of them aside I would have heard a long list of their perceived imperfections and flaws. Its a sad wonder how people go through their days blind to the sparkling light and shimmering essentiality shining from each and every one of us. I am determined to cultivate this new way of being, understanding as I relax within myself, how much easier it will be to see the beauty in others.
My outside appearance is only one part of who I am, and not the totality of my feminine mystique. If someone chooses to judge me otherwise, its their loss and absolutely not mine.
I like feeling good about my physical self. I nurture my wellness by positive thinking, exercising and eating healthy foods. I also enjoy being a 'decorated woman,' fixing my hair, wearing makeup and certain styles of clothing and jewelry are important to me. Everybody has the choice to express themselves in their own creative fashion. Accepting myself fully, without judgement or critique, will go a long way towards my inner worth and happiness. I know these ideas to be true, not only for women, but also for men. Feeling confident with our outside appearance is always nice,
Knowing our Beauty shines from the inside out is Magical.
We are so much more than we Believe.
In Peace and Beautiful Reflections,
Raven
