Being physically healthy is one of my main personal goals in life. As much as I would like to be in total control, I am unable. I try not to live in fear, constantly worrying about the outcome of every test given. Because of technology today we are able to monitor our bodies in a way both amazing and fearsome. I have experienced many losses in my family from cancer, watching the sadness and tragedy, overwhelming in its intensity, as it takes over all. Seeing a family break open as they lose their mother, my aunt, to breast cancer..and then years after, 2 of her daughters, my cousins, tragically from another type of cancer. Watching from the outer circle, unable to make sense of the utter destruction and loss to all of us.
Now here I am....trying not to react as my body is searched by machines, looking for something not belonging, invading my system like an alien life form. Preventative care, is a smart thing to do. Many issues can be taken care of if caught in time, medical science proves itself again and again by early detection.
Some people deal with this fear by not going for physical exams, yet the underlying worry follows them into the quiet hours of night. I choose to go. Knowing I do not do well with the background of anxiety looming over my shoulder.
I also believe how we Think and what we Trust In, has a huge affect on our bodies. Filling myself with positive affirmations, monitoring my conscious thoughts to create good feelings, helps me greatly. I am late this year for my mammogram, in fact I just cancelled my appointment today due to the snowstorm we are having. I have to internally relax as I have prolonged my wondering. Last year they found a cyst, after a somewhat simple yet terrifying procedure it was removed and later proved to be nothing serious. The fear from this time lingers on, causing me excessive worry for my next exam, hence my procrastination.
I also believe how we Think and what we Trust In, has a huge affect on our bodies. Filling myself with positive affirmations, monitoring my conscious thoughts to create good feelings, helps me greatly. I am late this year for my mammogram, in fact I just cancelled my appointment today due to the snowstorm we are having. I have to internally relax as I have prolonged my wondering. Last year they found a cyst, after a somewhat simple yet terrifying procedure it was removed and later proved to be nothing serious. The fear from this time lingers on, causing me excessive worry for my next exam, hence my procrastination.
I am a healthy woman, my mother has asked me why I feel so vulnerable within myself. Maybe its because of what I have seen, or because I have my babies who rely on me. I am not sure, but I wish I could let it go. I remember going to visit my aunt and her 5 children one day. She was very ill from the breast cancer. I remember the deep sadness in our car from my mother and Nana (grandmother) on the way up. We were all so young and didn't understand. I don't remember much of the visit, but I do see a picture in my head as we left. My aunt sitting quietly in a chair as all her children were gathered around, each touching her, standing as close as they could. To this day, I cry when I think about this moment in time. I know I carry this sadness inside.
I have read how our experiences and feelings live nestled in the tissues of our body. There are Ceremonies, Ways, Purifications one can do to release them out into the Universe. Swimming in the river, walking in the woods, Native Healing Traditions, all have contributed to my quest for inner peace. Our world is filled with frightening "what ifs", and realities. Its hard to not get caught up in the scariness of it all. I greatly admire those people who are able to truly stay in the moment, immune to these wasted feelings.
For myself I do what I can. Eating healthy organic foods, exercising, breathing wholeheartedly the beauty and goodness of life. My spiritual beliefs are what I rely on, praying and believing in the many Blessings my world is filled with. Writing for me has become a way of dealing with my emotions. For this reason I have written on this particular subject.
Another way for me to face my worry.
Another way for me to rise above it.
Now its time to for me to do my morning Sun Salutations, light a candle, burn some sage and
Thank the Great Spirit for all the Love in my Life.
Another way for me to face my worry.
Another way for me to rise above it.
Now its time to for me to do my morning Sun Salutations, light a candle, burn some sage and
Thank the Great Spirit for all the Love in my Life.
I am healthy today and I expect to be healthy tomorrow.
Thank you my friends for your emotional support by reading my public journal.
May it Help and Inspire you.
I wish Blessing upon you All.
In peace, Raven
