Being Edgy

   

Usually I navigate life in a peaceful ~ composed manner. I have always been a high energy person, and sometimes it's not so easy to remain calm. When I am able to channel my passions in a good direction I feel serene and right with the world. When I can't seem to maintain my emotional balance, I wake up feeling kind of edgy.  

This is not always a bad thing as I can use this edginess to inspire my choices and make creative decisions. I looked up 'edgy' in the dictionary, and with several definitions to choose from, I found this to be the closest.  

"Reckless, Sensitive, Excitable, Impatient, Keyed Up, Passionate, High-Strung and Fierce."  

The fierce part is my term. One time I actually had a man tell me he wasn't interested in me 'relationship wise' as I wasn't edgy enough. I thought he meant I didn't have enough piercings or wouldn't be able to handle my own in a street fight, which I can't. To this day I'm not quite sure, but it no longer matters. I think this is one of those words which has different meanings to people depending on just how edgy you yourself may be.  

Right now I am definitely feeling a little restless and on edge. Back when I was a younger, wilder version of myself this would often lead to my not making the safest or sanest choices. Although some of my most adventurous stories were born from these moments, leaving me with happy memories and few regrets. Recognizing when I feel this way, I have developed an awareness for where my steps may lead, setting off my alert signals to take heed before I jump impulsively into the turbulent waters of possibilities below. Now a little wiser, I stop and check for the deepest area of the river before plunging in.   

My life would be pretty boring if I tried to change this part of who I am. I have always rebelled against limitations, or someone suggesting I can't do something just because it doesn't work for their belief system. I am content living between these two sides of my personality, 

I like being the peaceful,
 edgy woman I consider myself to be.  

I will say this, I respect people who are clear and honest about their feelings, whether or not I want to hear what they have to say. Life should not be wasted pretending you are someone different, or your romantic stars are in alignment when they are not. I try to live without many self-imposed rules,
 and I greatly value when others do the same.  

Although I may not be ready to get in dive formation, I am perched on the highest rock checking from my advantage point for the safer waters below.  

I believe I have plenty of time to enjoy the view. Circumstances are always changing and I can come back another day. I will know when its my hour of

 passionate recklessness and time to dive in.  

To everybody already splashing around, this will not be the first or last time I will be joining you. Contemplation is good, but getting in and playing is so much more fun.  

Until then......

Perhaps I may get a few more piercings or take up kick boxing, who knows, it might be time for some newness in my fierce life ~~~~~
In Edgy Peace,
Raven