Its hard not to want to look outside myself for happiness or serenity. Sometimes I feel like I am restlessly waiting for something..anything...to make me feel complete. Most of the time I am at peace with where I am ...what I am doing. I know I am on the right path, I feel good about myself and my life. There are other times though when I feel almost lost inside. Late at night I go out onto my deck overlooking the lake, I stand there under the vast night sky feeling part of the whole Universe. I have the urge to wake up my children so they can share this time with me. I resist and stand alone, wondering how it would be to have someone by my side sharing these moments. I have had several close relationships throughout my life, and a marriage of 14 years, so I am not a novice when it comes to togetherness. Being in a relationship has never really taken away these feelings..its easy to be alone even when surrounded by others, at least it has been with me. I know the answer lies within rather then without, a lesson I have learned numerous times, yet find myself revisiting often. These days or nights when I feel this way, once I become awake to the growing emptiness, I know what to do. I take a deep breath and release all I have been keeping inside, and I wait. I wait not for someone or something to fill up the vastness of my sorrow, for that in itself is fleeting. No...I wait for my Connection to the Creator of all that Is..my Spirit Essence.. to wrap itself around, and in me, moving timelessly and gracefully through every molecule of my Body, my Soul. I remain there in the silence of Beauty. I am Healed. Life again becomes filled with hope and promise, I stand strong where I am. Being in a relationship is a beautiful thing, and so is being alone. Either way I have all I need, I am complete and always will be.
In Peaceful Serenity
~Raven
