No Place Like Home

     I look around my home and I am surrounded by stuff.  Too much I think.  How did I get to this point where I feel lost amongst my possessions.  I am no stranger to organizing and simplifying, at one time I did this for a living.  Its a personal gift of mine, I can walk into any given chaos and bring serenity to every room.  Living here in my lovely little house with 3 children, you would think I would have it all in control.  I do, sort of.  

     Many of the things we have too much of are toys with sentimental value.  My children hold on, fearing by letting go, they are giving up a part of themselves.  We are all this way to some extent, even myself.  I wonder why we attach so much importance to our things, when our memories live in our hearts and spirits, and not so much in the closets.  

     I sometimes play a game in my mind.  Imagine if we were under alert, and had to leave our homes in one hour or less, besides my children what would I take.  I remember as a little girl in California, fearing a sudden earthquake, packing my little red suitcase with my favorite dolls, and play things.  In moments of survival one realizes what is truly important.  Depending on the situation, I might have to choose a flashlight verses my bells from Tibet, or a jug of water over my favorite lithograph.  The worse feeling is when you let something go, and it almost feels like you're missing a close friend.   

     Consider  how devastating for the unfortunate people who lose everything in a natural disaster.  I have known a few.  Of course the loss of human life is a tragedy, and not even comparable.  What about your photos and historical mementos passed on through generations of family.
Some things are truly precious and irreplaceable.  

     I have always believed how you live in your home is a direct reflection of your state of mind,  contributing to your emotional health.  No wonder I have been feeling overwhelmed, crowded in, and slightly dusty.  Think about the amount of time and energy we spend, moving, cleaning, digging thru, bumping into, picking up, fixing....not even counting the using....of all our belongings.  Do we truly
 need to live this way, I don't think so.  

    I have known people who are minimalists, which for me would be the exact opposite of my decorating style.  Like the birds of the forest, I enjoy feathering my nest.  Being cozy, with a few or possibly too many added luxuries, is what brings me comfort.  Pillows, candles, blankets, and more of the same, helps me to be serene in the chaos of my mind.  Everyone has their own personal style and functional needs when it comes to living comfortably in their homes.  Whether we live in a cabin, a castle, a mansion or cave, being able to rejuvenate ourselves is a necessity we all can afford.  Turning our shelters into a sanctuary from the outside world, by letting go of the clutter and over abundance surrounding us, will make for a healthier life.  I for one am ready to begin the long and emotional process of reevaluating all the belongings which encircles my family and defines our days.  Releasing what no longer brings us comfort or joy is a gift for all, not only serving us well in our homes, but in the turmoil and messiness which can be part of our world.   A fresh beginning, I have learned, can be had at any time.  Starting within the mental jumble of my mind, I can sort and tidy up, creating a calm interior.  Moving outwardly I can apply the same concept, bringing much needed space and serenity into our living area, and then out into the world which we all share.
"Clean up your Room", can be a new motto for recycling and picking up litter on our planet.
Learning from the birds, I will continue to feather my nest, keeping it comfortable and full of warmth,  maybe with fewer decorations and keepsakes.  The less minutes we spend on our personal effects, will allow us the more hours needed to create beautiful memories, which unlike our treasured objects, do last forever, and can be taken with us.

Just Another Day

Living in Gratitude can be a form of prayer. There are countless moments to be grateful for, even when sometimes it feels otherwise. Mainly, I am thankful for the good health of my children, loved ones and myself. The ultimate starting point. After this I move down the list, beginning with the basics.

Shelter, warmth, good food, a working vehicle, financial security, and my nifty cell phone. All these needs seem crucial to survival as I know it here on modern earth, and not to be taken lightly.  

Next on my list are the essential pleasures, and certainly not in order of appearance. Fancy powwows, breezy days, romantic nights, organic honey, good friends, eating chocolate in bed, and being barefoot in the sun. Those are just a few of my top favorites. I will leave the rest up to your own imaginations.

Lastly I come to the little things in life that one may not always be aware of as blessings. Special treasures, like whipped cream on hot chocolate, birds singing outside my window, missing a traffic jam, or knowing the last place I saw my keys. All these different elements mix together into a delightful blend, creating a joyful balance to my everyday life.

I make a sincere effort to be conscious, mindful of these gifts, yet I am not always successful.    

They...The People of Knowledge and Wisdom...say you can only maintain one feeling at a time. Either you can choose to focus on gratitude for what is, 

or concentrate on being miserable for what isn't.

Not many of us have the emotional presence to regulate where our happiness meter is at any given time, certainly not myself. Living between the lines of survival and abundance preoccupies my thoughts, making it easy to get lost in the hills and valleys of my journey. Because of this, I am not always aware of my inner world. It's not until I startle awake as if from a muddled dream do I even begin to recognize the divinity of my days.

An American holiday is soon to be upon us. A tradition...for some...of mindful celebration.

Maybe not for the historical myths on which it is based, then certainly for the wealth of spirit it can create. To be at Peace is to recognize the sacred that lies underneath. Moved by outside influences, we either acknowledge this essential connection, or burrow deep, hiding further from a truth we refuse to believe. 

Thanksgiving is just another day.
It's up to us to make it something Beautiful.
 May you Walk in Prayer 

~Raven      

     

   

         

When I Grow Up

    A beautiful evening.  Looks and feels to be almost a full moon.  When I lived in Mission Beach, California these were the nights my friends and I would be out restlessly prowling the boardwalk, sitting around a bonfire, swimming in the crashing waves, and most likely getting ourselves into some kind of adventurous trouble.  

     More than twenty years later I look back, almost a lifetime ago, and wonder at the strangeness of it all.  How funny to think I believed I would be a changed person when I was all grown up.  As a young adult looking forward in time I would try to imagine how I would be when I was older.  I wasn't even close.  The vision I conjured up bore not the slightest resemblance to the woman I am today. Expecting to be different, only to discover myself unrecognizable, because I am the same.
 I haven't changed at all.  

     Of course my life has altered in many obvious ways.  Outwardly a lot has transformed, and not just my physical appearance.  My responsibilities, choices, and attitudes have all undergone a major shift.   In many ways its true, I have been remade.  Life has a way of reshaping and molding us, smoothing out the rough edges, wearing us thin in a few places, hardening and increasing our strength where needed.  Fired in the kiln of our life experiences, our colors burnished to reveal the hidden depths and intensities within, vibrant and individually unique.   How far away under my skin lies the girl I used to be.  Truthfully a lot closer then I once believed.   I'm still me, just more.  More confident, wiser, calmer, smarter, happier, more alive.
   I often marvel at how I continue to face issues I thought to have overcome by now.  Who would have known my perceived weaknesses would follow me thru life, taking me from one story to the next, fine tuning me in ways I assumed were no longer needed.   Thinking I would have graduated to another level, I find myself reliving more of my past lessons.  Sometimes appearing to be new, only to realize I have faced something similar when I was in first grade, highschool, my marriage, or just last week.  Each time, redefining and shaping who I was minutes before, not so much altering but evolving my inner being.
  I have learned, in living we don't become someone entirely different, separated from all that is familiar.  In the big picture of Life, we are all connected, so why would it be any different within ourselves.  I believe the same young girl, teenager, woman stare back at me as I face myself in the mirror each day, and thankfully will continue to do so as the years pass by.  As we travel on this wonderful journey, we take along with us the whole of who we are now, our yesterdays, our tomorrows, along with the secrets of our first beginnings.  In my entirety, I am complete.
Who I will be as an elder woman, will be exactly who I am now,
only more.  

A Lesson On Cool

     Whassup Everybody?  Its way too early for me to be awake.  I could go days without wanting to write, and all of a sudden something pops into my head, and until I work it out I am no good to anybody.  It's around 4 in the morning and here I am.  As one of my favorite TV characters, Detective Monk says,
"It's a gift....and a curse."  

     I have made a couple of new friends in the past several months and find myself starting to talk like them by borrowing a few of their expressions.  I like to think of myself as a cool person, but lately I have noticed I'm a little behind the times when it comes to my speech.  I know a lot of the new lingo, or at least I think I do, but am sometimes unsure just how or when to use it.  For a long while I thought to "hook up" meant to get together casually for maybe some coffee or something, not until I received a strange look after suggesting to my boss he should hook up with a client did I understand the real meaning of what that "something" stood for. 

     Back in the day I was not really hip at all to the slang used amongst my peers, probably why I wasn't one of the chosen ones. I think some of the sayings I now think are cool have played out, although in my defense, slang is not known for standing the test of time.  I believe this to be intrinsic in maintaining its power of weeding out those who don't belong, constantly renewing itself, preventing any pretenders from infiltrating.  Being in the know is not easy.  Maybe I should include this subject as part of our homeschooling curriculum so my kids can get down with it, and  hang with the best of them.  Although come to think of it, I do believe my older son was keeping it real the other day, and told me to chillax when I was having a moment.

     Different words follow different cultures, I think a lot of slang people use today belongs to the hip hop world, making for a decidedly colorful vibe.  The problem is unless it comes naturally, you sound like a wannabe, which is far worse then messing up a few phrases here and there.   Being cool comes from within, almost like you have to absorb things as you go along until they become part of you, and later flows out your mouth at the right time.  I have a few processing issues. so this is not always easy for me, somewhere along the way I confuse the meaning and forget how to talk.  My ability to laugh at myself has helped me out of a few awkward moments.  Thank goodness my charm comes naturally, otherwise there's a good chance I might  be dissed, and people may not consider me to be so groovy.  

A common verbal trend I also obsessively notice, are called fillers.  These are often used seemingly without too much thought, an 'on the side dish' to your conversation.  If you pay attention, as I do, you will become aware of the different cycles of these sayings.  Some of the past ones have been, "Know what I mean"...."Actually"......."And Stuff."  Right now, the one spreading like wild fire, is the phrase..."And what Not."  Its amazing how often it is used, and not just once either, but frequently peppered throughout a conversation.  Try for yourself if you like, once heard, you will be surprised how many people have embraced its usage.  I apologize in advance to any of my friends who enjoy this saying, and wasn't aware I was counting. 

     Maybe this is why I have become a writer.  Words have power I believe, and adding some spicy slang to your way of expression could possibly help in your quest to be one of the chosen hip, keeping you fashionable and in the mainstream.  You know you can't help but smile when you and your Vibe are One, making everything you say unique to your own fresh style.  The art of communication is key to the quality of our relationships.  Why not have fun and share a little of your funky self at the same time.  Next time you're hooking up for coffee or hangin with your hommyz, I wish you a smooth and easy flow, and if you get things wrong like I sometimes do, just Chill, it's All Good.

Okay Peeps, Holla when you can, Gotta Bounce, 

Peace Out!

Head out on the Highway

     I am amazed at the sudden turns and different directions our lives can take.  Some made deliberately, giving us a feeling of control and power over our destiny.  Others appear as a surprise, an unexpected stick in the road, causing us to stumble, forcing us to abandon or change our destination.
 Back in May 2010, I started getting strange unsettling symptoms.  Disorientation, headaches, fatigue, ringing in my ears, pins and needles in my extremities, sensitivity to sound, movements and lights, dizziness, and the worse, not being able to concentrate.  After several terrifying months, an expensive MRI, and numerous frustrating visits to physicians, nothing was clear.  Everything looked fine, but I definitely was not.   I have always been a vibrant, healthy, high energy person, able to multi-task at super speeds and dance circles around most people.  (A little powwow humor!)  Suddenly my whole world was thrown out of whack, and I was being tested for MS, Lyme's Disease and Brain Tumors.  Thank goodness everything came back normal.  The more stressed I became, the worse I felt.  Finally I walked away from the medical establishment, calmed myself, and began my own research.  

    The result is I have a form of migraines, some days worse, or better, than others.  I have learned to keep them semi quiet by following a new way of living.  Getting enough sleep, avoiding a long list of food and drinks known to be triggers, and detecting all hidden varieties of MSG, found in many foods, even those claiming to be all natural.  Exercise, relaxation and managing stress are important to how good I feel.  Any anxiety dramatically increases the severity of my symptoms.  My life has totally changed as a result of these issues.  Its hard not to be frustrated with myself for being so "weak" as to have this condition.  I feel flawed and somewhat let down by my inability to not WILL myself back into normalcy.  I am a single mother with 3 children and a very full life.
I do not welcome these circumstances.  

     Its been 5 long months since I began this journey of enlightenment.  I have a new awareness. Paying close attention to my Inner Universe, before trying to handle my outside one is my main priority.
"A Look in, before I Leap out," kind of philosophy has been created.
 I have become a specialist in leisure, taking more time to enjoy quiet and solitude.  I let go of 20 lbs due to my improved diet, and no longer surviving like a camel in the desert, I am drinking enough water to stay hydrated.  Although I never considered myself an overachiever, I can't deny my life can sometimes be filled with a long list of endeavors and responsibilities.   My new approach has helped me to slow down and regulate how I spend my energy, leaving more opportunities for enjoying the pleasures of life.

     Learning the intuitive skill of listening to my body by honoring what it is asking has been the greatest value.  With my new alarm system of increased physical warnings, I am made quickly aware when I have strayed from the path of~
Peace, Serenity and 8 hours of Restful Slumber.

     I choose to see it this way.
 I am forever grateful for the glorious fact of not having any serious conditions. Somewhere along the trail, I wandered off and made a couple of lefts when I might have gone right.  Quite possibly the road I had been cruising on, was not going to bring me to the destination of emotional and physical health I had been hoping for.  I feel blessed with a second chance to make positive changes necessary for my long-lived future.  Living at my physical best is a gift to myself, my children and those who care about me. Instead of the rapid pace of the highway, I am now cruising on the more relaxed and beautiful scenic route, drinking 8 glasses of water, and munching organic carrots as I travel.  Like any good road trip its the journey where the fun lies, not so much the destination.
 Back in the early 1980's, Ringo Starr, the famous drummer for the Beatles, released the album, "Stop and Smell the Roses," reminding us of an old adage we all could benefit from.  Spending extra time in nature to play in rivers and allow myself a cozy nap nestled in a bed of fragrant pine needles can only enhance my journey.
My passion for writing, along with other positive changes, have all come about from this new direction.  I have discovered I don't have to control everything to make room for unexpected adventures.  Keeping my eyes glued to the ground looking for debris might be safer, but allowing myself to contemplate the height of the tallest trees now and then, will greatly expand my vision.
Like Bilbo Baggins, I am ready and willing to start my quest.
  The truth is, not always knowing where I am, does not mean I am off-track.  Confirming to myself a little wisdom I once heard from one of my favorite storytellers,  J. R.R. Tolkien....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"All Who Wander are not Lost"
“All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renenwed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king

Let's Talk About the Weather

I started writing almost because I had to.  You know how life is, one minute you are going on your merry way and the next you are inspired to make a quick turn down some unfamiliar rocky path.  I had no intention of starting a blog, or even more crazy, sharing myself so openly for all to see.  However, my words sort of took on a life of their own.  In person, if I know someone long enough...say a couple of minutes or so... I would be discussing these things outloud, as part of my regular conversation, just without my handy thesaurus by my side.  I really dislike small talk, I like to go directly to what I think are the real subjects in life.  Love, Sadness, Despair, Hope, Healing and of course let's not forget Beauty.  My children have learned to take me in stride, as have a few of my close friends.  Its been less then 3 months since I began my life of sharing and confessions, and usually I get a nice response..or no response at all in regards to my words.  Luckily I miss out on those uncommon few, who may be rolling their eyes at my renderings.  Recently however, I have received different feedback from some very close friends, and others not so close.  A fellow writer/mentor friend of mine, had already cautioned me to have a thick skin for he could see this coming.  How I could write from my heart and concern myself with other's opinions I couldn't understand.  Now, here I am feeling a little thin-skinned, slightly defensive, and kind of misunderstood.  My pride has been wounded, and I am left wondering if perhaps I should take up knitting instead.  Of course there is danger in that too, as I could possibly poke my eye out or something, or even worse, what if I choose the wrong color or type of yarn.  Maybe I could be less dramatic and write about the mundane things in life like sex, or the weather.  I am thinking of writing a disclaimer at the end of each writing stating, "I am a healthy, well-balanced, happy, joyful, content woman, who enjoys and expects her life to be filled with goodness and serenity, although my reflections may appear otherwise."   I would also like to protest, I mean add, I try to write about what I think are Universal issues that affect everybody, just in different ways.  Being a woman I can only write from a female point of view, so sorry, this part can't be helped.  I recognize everybody has their own place of reference, we are all unique in how we think, act and believe.  My opinions are just that, and don't have to be accepted or even understood the way I meant them to be.  I have also come to know my words might sometimes be taken out of context, or possibly rewritten and rearranged by what the reader has going on in their own personal life, or  past experiences.  Just like I discovered I am not responsible for another person's happiness, I will have to recognize that once written, I cannot control a person's interpretation of what I choose to express, even if their opinion really matters, and I hope differently.  I might decide I need to take a break from serious issues for awhile, but I doubt I will be able to resist for very long.  I must follow the strings of my California Gypsy Beach Girl heart.  Hopefully you, my friendly readers, can just sit back and enjoy the ride for what it is.  Maybe later we can talk about your sex life, but for now....its about 50 degrees, with mostly cloudy skies, and slightly windy!

Lean on Me

     Having someone to count on would be a nice addition to my life.  Yes I am talking about a relationship, but also something more.  To be honest it would be an easy thing for me to date, have a boyfriend....be involved.  The counting on part seems to be a whole different matter.  The Rolling Stones said it so well., "We all need someone to Lean on."  This someone is greatly missing in my life. Sure, I have family to call for emotional support, along with a handful of very close comrades who are always there to lend an ear when needed.  Believe me, I don't take this for granted.   I also have a small group of friends I could call to physically help if asked, or come running to save me if I were to light the signal fires.  Several years ago, I did not have this supporting force behind me, so once again I am incredibly grateful for their friendships.

     I have always prided myself on not being a needy woman.  To me, this would be my downfall, a way to lose myself.  I do not need a man in my life to make me feel loved, stronger, more capable or not alone.  I can take care of myself in that way.  What I would like is a companion to my world, a partner to not only physically share the burden of planting and weeding from the garden of my days, but someone who will also enjoy the bountiful fruits of our labor, maybe even chase a few deer out now and then.  I have never had this in my life.  I wonder if its something within me that prevents a relationship like this from coming about.   Please understand I am not feeling sorry for myself, I love my life and take great pleasure in all I am blessed with.  My children and I are very close, my dear companions and soul mates, and when necessary we are able to forge raging rivers and move small mountains.  Somehow day by day, year by year we manage to make it all come together. I have a network of people and community who care about me, I am not living in isolation.  I know I may sound like a three year old, but really,  "I can do it by myself."   

    These times when I feel like this usually happen late at night, or between the small hours in the morning.  Perhaps its when everybody is deeply asleep, somehow my subconscious mind feels free to explore the depths of my heart, knowing I will not be interrupted.  Christmas is coming, I have been laid off for awhile now, the ton of pellets in my shed needs to be moved to my basement, another cord of wood has to be ordered and stacked, windows covered, kindling found, leaves raked and I could definitely use a hug.  How I am going to take care of this I don't know.  Sounds more like I need a friendly landscaper/repair man then a relationship.  Its not so much the labor I need help with, although this would be nice, I just want to lean on a person I can count on, in every way.  Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually.  All the makings of a fairytale.  There have been several candidates for this position, and many applications submitted.  My heart and intuition choose otherwise, and so far this opportunity remains open.  Its early morning, and I think I will go back to sleep.  Today is my daughter's birthday and soon the house will be filled with the sounds of laughter and hungry children.  I will forget I even wrote this, let alone posted for all to see.  You may wonder why I share these feelings with others, I often do myself.   Ultimately I feel stronger by revealing what I think are my weaknesses, almost like I dare myself to be vulnerable before witnesses.  Confessions, I have learned, can sometimes be good for my soul.  Things which seem so big and formidable in the wee hours of the night are much smaller in the light of day.  The work will get done, my finances back together, and I am sure if I looked hard enough, I can find a hug somewhere.    

Yes, The River Knows

     I question everything, yet often choose to go with the flow.  How these two abilities live together is a mystery to me.  You would think one would cancel the other, but no...in cooperation they coexist, each demanding to be heard, forcing me down one path, then up and over another.  Nothing is safe near me, my mind immediately grabs a hold of a subject and quickly tears it apart.  Most of the time I'm unaware of the process, one minute I could be calmly listening, and then suddenly I feel the need arise to offer my complete unsolicited analysis.  I don't mean in an scientific intellectual way either, more like an emotional, spiritual examination.   I see life by the impression of feelings behind everything. I am not saying I am consistently right, although facts or no facts, I find myself getting to the heart of the matter rather quickly.  Living by analyzing feelings, and the "deeper meaning" behind all can be a very tiresome way of thinking.  Why I can't relax and just accept situations for what they are, I don't know.  In all fairness, depending on who you ask, I try not to push my conclusions onto everybody, well at least not always.  Thankfully, my writing is a softer way for me to express the world I live in.  Most of the time its not so much the answer I have figured out, more like I can see the journey which one is taking.  

     Probably my "go with the flow" attitude is less of an ability, and more of a survival mechanism.  Being able to allow myself to flow is more then likely a direct result of my over thinking.  Eventually, everything and everybody reaches its breaking point, like an torrential flood, some things cannot be contained.   Feelings are not always reliable, and can be a tumultuous place to dwell, knowing the deeper meaning can only take you so far.  Once I reach a certain place, its time to make a choice.  I can either keep thinking until I totally exhaust myself into action, or I can climb calmly into my boat, untie the rope connected to the dock of my mind, lay back, and gently float downstream.   Relief, pure and effortless, frees me completely from my excessive pondering.  The art of riding the current is easy once you've taken a few trips.  Knowing how long to wander and when to pull over is a matter between you and the river you're riding on.  Drifting aimlessly can only take you so far, once you've reached the place of large rocks and waterfalls, its time to head for dry land.  Unless of course you have an adventurous spirit, then you may want to ride a few waves before finding harbor.  The excitement of taking this watery journey is all in the trusting.  Some of you may think and act as if we are the only moving force behind our earth bound presence.  For myself this is not enough, I believe our lives rest gently in the hands of our Creator, and I gladly release my control...at least for awhile. The power of our mind is an amazing gift, I enjoy exploring my world through my thoughts.  Too much talking however is never a good thing, even if its all internal.  Laying there in my boat, I am finally quiet enough to hear the words of my soul.  Listening to what I already know, I am able to be moved, not just by how I feel, or my perceived deeper meaning,  but by something even more profound and unfathomable.  The river is wide and endless, and though from above I must look like nothing more then a tiny speck, from in my boat I can see the wholeness of the Universe.

Is There a Reason?

"People come into your Life for a Season, a Reason or a Lifetime"
 I heard this quote recently and I keep repeating it over and over in my head.  I find myself reviewing the different people who are currently in my life, trying to categorize them into one of these options.  I wonder if its possible to figure out 'who's Who' now, or if I have to wait until my last days to see the end results.  Perhaps in my later years I will be able to recognize the Lifetime people as those familiar ones who have kicked around the longest.

 Unless, like many things in life, not all is easily clear.  Some relationships can be hard to label.  Perhaps I will discover some of the Life~Timers are really lingering Season~Reason people in disguise, who unknowingly, been secretly planning their escape all along.  Can one really be able to recognize the slight differences between the three?  How long is a season anyways...and does a reason have to be life-changing obvious, or will any small transformation count?  Even more confusing, can they be combined?  What about the people who seem to hit our lives hard and fast, and then disappear off into the sunset.  Obviously ruling out the Lifetime option, leaving us with the question of whether it was a very short Season encounter, or maybe a very fast Reason Agent on a mission so minuscule you hardly noticed what you were supposed to be getting from their comings and goings.   This saying, as you can see, really bothers me.  I find myself suspiciously scrutinizing everybody with narrowed eyes, pondering just how much of myself should I be investing.  I mean if you are a Reason person, then please accomplish your destiny and leave already.  My life is very busy and I would much rather get this assignment over with and hang out with the more enduring Season, Life~Time friends.   No offense, but I somehow think these are the people who can cause huge holes to suddenly appear, where before there was just blank canvas.  Certainly Reason people are valuable, apparently here to gently nudge, shove, encourage or slam dunk us into some sort of epiphany or much needed action.  I imagined Reason people to be the colorful, vibrant ones who burst into our organized lives knocking over our well laid plans and intentions.  This however is not always true.  Sometimes they sneak in quiet and nondescript, slinking in without much fanfare, then fading out, back into the shadows from whence they came, leaving only a faint memory of their touch, and a mystery of WHY they were here in the first place.   Those, I have learned, are the kind you have to most watch out for.
Perchance the biggest dilemma of all, is the fact that nobody distinguishes who they are either.  All of us blundering in and out of each others lives, not knowing what part we are in fact playing.  I am forced to confess to my having been a Season~Reason~Lifetime friend to a countless many, and I'm sure, will be forever moved to do so.  I think it was written somewhere in the small print of our birth contracts to be eternally loyal to the cause of human advancement, sworn, committed and unable to escape this double life we lead.  "Do unto others as you would have done unto you," seems to be the way it all goes down.  If a Reason person strolls into your life,  you unwittingly become a Reason person in theirs, and visa versa.  I would imagine this to be some sort of evolutionary adaptation developed to make the best use of time and space, hopefully hastening our successes as we either move gracefully, or stumble through our life lessons.  Lucky for us we are simultaneously given the chance to learn from each other, weaving in and out of being teachers and students at the same time.
I have come to the conclusion that though there may be a spiritual component to Why, When and How people enter our lives, for the most part I think we are all winging it as we go along.  Following a mixture of intuition, good intentions and satisfying our emotional needs, we enter in and out of relationships wanting things to be a certain way, only to discover all is not as you first hoped, and soon you are on your way out the door with your new identity as "some one's past."   
 Because of these discrepancies, I have decided to act as if I never heard this confounded saying in the first place, choosing to resist from concerning myself with, 'Who is What and for How long.'  I hereby commit to tranquilly accepting everybody into my life for as long as the Universe prescribes.   Either to enjoy the Season of a finely brewed cup of tea.  To learn the Reason for cultivating the many different varieties and ways to plant. Or to embrace a Lifetime of toiling under the sun, side by side, growing our own thriving plantation.
  Either way there is much to be learned as each encounter is hopefully a balanced
 exchange of beauty and wisdom.
  Really quite simple and easy to understand, once you take it totally apart.  No opinion has to be permanent, so upon further reflection, perhaps I may like this saying after all.
In Beautiful Confusion
~Raven