Back in May 2010, I started getting strange unsettling symptoms. Disorientation, headaches, fatigue, ringing in my ears, pins and needles in my extremities, sensitivity to sound, movements and lights, dizziness, and the worse, not being able to concentrate. After several terrifying months, an expensive MRI, and numerous frustrating visits to physicians, nothing was clear. Everything looked fine, but I definitely was not. I have always been a vibrant, healthy, high energy person, able to multi-task at super speeds and dance circles around most people. (A little powwow humor!) Suddenly my whole world was thrown out of whack, and I was being tested for MS, Lyme's Disease and Brain Tumors. Thank goodness everything came back normal. The more stressed I became, the worse I felt. Finally I walked away from the medical establishment, calmed myself, and began my own research.
The result is I have a form of migraines, some days worse, or better, than others. I have learned to keep them semi quiet by following a new way of living. Getting enough sleep, avoiding a long list of food and drinks known to be triggers, and detecting all hidden varieties of MSG, found in many foods, even those claiming to be all natural. Exercise, relaxation and managing stress are important to how good I feel. Any anxiety dramatically increases the severity of my symptoms. My life has totally changed as a result of these issues. Its hard not to be frustrated with myself for being so "weak" as to have this condition. I feel flawed and somewhat let down by my inability to not WILL myself back into normalcy. I am a single mother with 3 children and a very full life.
I do not welcome these circumstances.
I do not welcome these circumstances.
Its been 5 long months since I began this journey of enlightenment. I have a new awareness. Paying close attention to my Inner Universe, before trying to handle my outside one is my main priority.
"A Look in, before I Leap out," kind of philosophy has been created.
I have become a specialist in leisure, taking more time to enjoy quiet and solitude. I let go of 20 lbs due to my improved diet, and no longer surviving like a camel in the desert, I am drinking enough water to stay hydrated. Although I never considered myself an overachiever, I can't deny my life can sometimes be filled with a long list of endeavors and responsibilities. My new approach has helped me to slow down and regulate how I spend my energy, leaving more opportunities for enjoying the pleasures of life.
"A Look in, before I Leap out," kind of philosophy has been created.
I have become a specialist in leisure, taking more time to enjoy quiet and solitude. I let go of 20 lbs due to my improved diet, and no longer surviving like a camel in the desert, I am drinking enough water to stay hydrated. Although I never considered myself an overachiever, I can't deny my life can sometimes be filled with a long list of endeavors and responsibilities. My new approach has helped me to slow down and regulate how I spend my energy, leaving more opportunities for enjoying the pleasures of life.
Learning the intuitive skill of listening to my body by honoring what it is asking has been the greatest value. With my new alarm system of increased physical warnings, I am made quickly aware when I have strayed from the path of~
Peace, Serenity and 8 hours of Restful Slumber.
Peace, Serenity and 8 hours of Restful Slumber.
I choose to see it this way.
I am forever grateful for the glorious fact of not having any serious conditions. Somewhere along the trail, I wandered off and made a couple of lefts when I might have gone right. Quite possibly the road I had been cruising on, was not going to bring me to the destination of emotional and physical health I had been hoping for. I feel blessed with a second chance to make positive changes necessary for my long-lived future. Living at my physical best is a gift to myself, my children and those who care about me. Instead of the rapid pace of the highway, I am now cruising on the more relaxed and beautiful scenic route, drinking 8 glasses of water, and munching organic carrots as I travel. Like any good road trip its the journey where the fun lies, not so much the destination.
Back in the early 1980's, Ringo Starr, the famous drummer for the Beatles, released the album, "Stop and Smell the Roses," reminding us of an old adage we all could benefit from. Spending extra time in nature to play in rivers and allow myself a cozy nap nestled in a bed of fragrant pine needles can only enhance my journey.
My passion for writing, along with other positive changes, have all come about from this new direction. I have discovered I don't have to control everything to make room for unexpected adventures. Keeping my eyes glued to the ground looking for debris might be safer, but allowing myself to contemplate the height of the tallest trees now and then, will greatly expand my vision.
Like Bilbo Baggins, I am ready and willing to start my quest.
The truth is, not always knowing where I am, does not mean I am off-track. Confirming to myself a little wisdom I once heard from one of my favorite storytellers, J. R.R. Tolkien....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"All Who Wander are not Lost"
“All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renenwed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king
I am forever grateful for the glorious fact of not having any serious conditions. Somewhere along the trail, I wandered off and made a couple of lefts when I might have gone right. Quite possibly the road I had been cruising on, was not going to bring me to the destination of emotional and physical health I had been hoping for. I feel blessed with a second chance to make positive changes necessary for my long-lived future. Living at my physical best is a gift to myself, my children and those who care about me. Instead of the rapid pace of the highway, I am now cruising on the more relaxed and beautiful scenic route, drinking 8 glasses of water, and munching organic carrots as I travel. Like any good road trip its the journey where the fun lies, not so much the destination.
Back in the early 1980's, Ringo Starr, the famous drummer for the Beatles, released the album, "Stop and Smell the Roses," reminding us of an old adage we all could benefit from. Spending extra time in nature to play in rivers and allow myself a cozy nap nestled in a bed of fragrant pine needles can only enhance my journey.
My passion for writing, along with other positive changes, have all come about from this new direction. I have discovered I don't have to control everything to make room for unexpected adventures. Keeping my eyes glued to the ground looking for debris might be safer, but allowing myself to contemplate the height of the tallest trees now and then, will greatly expand my vision.
Like Bilbo Baggins, I am ready and willing to start my quest.
The truth is, not always knowing where I am, does not mean I am off-track. Confirming to myself a little wisdom I once heard from one of my favorite storytellers, J. R.R. Tolkien....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"All Who Wander are not Lost"
“All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renenwed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king
