I started writing almost because I had to. You know how life is, one minute you are going on your merry way and the next you are inspired to make a quick turn down some unfamiliar rocky path. I had no intention of starting a blog, or even more crazy, sharing myself so openly for all to see. However, my words sort of took on a life of their own. In person, if I know someone long enough...say a couple of minutes or so... I would be discussing these things outloud, as part of my regular conversation, just without my handy thesaurus by my side. I really dislike small talk, I like to go directly to what I think are the real subjects in life. Love, Sadness, Despair, Hope, Healing and of course let's not forget Beauty. My children have learned to take me in stride, as have a few of my close friends. Its been less then 3 months since I began my life of sharing and confessions, and usually I get a nice response..or no response at all in regards to my words. Luckily I miss out on those uncommon few, who may be rolling their eyes at my renderings. Recently however, I have received different feedback from some very close friends, and others not so close. A fellow writer/mentor friend of mine, had already cautioned me to have a thick skin for he could see this coming. How I could write from my heart and concern myself with other's opinions I couldn't understand. Now, here I am feeling a little thin-skinned, slightly defensive, and kind of misunderstood. My pride has been wounded, and I am left wondering if perhaps I should take up knitting instead. Of course there is danger in that too, as I could possibly poke my eye out or something, or even worse, what if I choose the wrong color or type of yarn. Maybe I could be less dramatic and write about the mundane things in life like sex, or the weather. I am thinking of writing a disclaimer at the end of each writing stating, "I am a healthy, well-balanced, happy, joyful, content woman, who enjoys and expects her life to be filled with goodness and serenity, although my reflections may appear otherwise." I would also like to protest, I mean add, I try to write about what I think are Universal issues that affect everybody, just in different ways. Being a woman I can only write from a female point of view, so sorry, this part can't be helped. I recognize everybody has their own place of reference, we are all unique in how we think, act and believe. My opinions are just that, and don't have to be accepted or even understood the way I meant them to be. I have also come to know my words might sometimes be taken out of context, or possibly rewritten and rearranged by what the reader has going on in their own personal life, or past experiences. Just like I discovered I am not responsible for another person's happiness, I will have to recognize that once written, I cannot control a person's interpretation of what I choose to express, even if their opinion really matters, and I hope differently. I might decide I need to take a break from serious issues for awhile, but I doubt I will be able to resist for very long. I must follow the strings of my California Gypsy Beach Girl heart. Hopefully you, my friendly readers, can just sit back and enjoy the ride for what it is. Maybe later we can talk about your sex life, but for now....its about 50 degrees, with mostly cloudy skies, and slightly windy!
