Yes, The River Knows

     I question everything, yet often choose to go with the flow.  How these two abilities live together is a mystery to me.  You would think one would cancel the other, but no...in cooperation they coexist, each demanding to be heard, forcing me down one path, then up and over another.  Nothing is safe near me, my mind immediately grabs a hold of a subject and quickly tears it apart.  Most of the time I'm unaware of the process, one minute I could be calmly listening, and then suddenly I feel the need arise to offer my complete unsolicited analysis.  I don't mean in an scientific intellectual way either, more like an emotional, spiritual examination.   I see life by the impression of feelings behind everything. I am not saying I am consistently right, although facts or no facts, I find myself getting to the heart of the matter rather quickly.  Living by analyzing feelings, and the "deeper meaning" behind all can be a very tiresome way of thinking.  Why I can't relax and just accept situations for what they are, I don't know.  In all fairness, depending on who you ask, I try not to push my conclusions onto everybody, well at least not always.  Thankfully, my writing is a softer way for me to express the world I live in.  Most of the time its not so much the answer I have figured out, more like I can see the journey which one is taking.  

     Probably my "go with the flow" attitude is less of an ability, and more of a survival mechanism.  Being able to allow myself to flow is more then likely a direct result of my over thinking.  Eventually, everything and everybody reaches its breaking point, like an torrential flood, some things cannot be contained.   Feelings are not always reliable, and can be a tumultuous place to dwell, knowing the deeper meaning can only take you so far.  Once I reach a certain place, its time to make a choice.  I can either keep thinking until I totally exhaust myself into action, or I can climb calmly into my boat, untie the rope connected to the dock of my mind, lay back, and gently float downstream.   Relief, pure and effortless, frees me completely from my excessive pondering.  The art of riding the current is easy once you've taken a few trips.  Knowing how long to wander and when to pull over is a matter between you and the river you're riding on.  Drifting aimlessly can only take you so far, once you've reached the place of large rocks and waterfalls, its time to head for dry land.  Unless of course you have an adventurous spirit, then you may want to ride a few waves before finding harbor.  The excitement of taking this watery journey is all in the trusting.  Some of you may think and act as if we are the only moving force behind our earth bound presence.  For myself this is not enough, I believe our lives rest gently in the hands of our Creator, and I gladly release my control...at least for awhile. The power of our mind is an amazing gift, I enjoy exploring my world through my thoughts.  Too much talking however is never a good thing, even if its all internal.  Laying there in my boat, I am finally quiet enough to hear the words of my soul.  Listening to what I already know, I am able to be moved, not just by how I feel, or my perceived deeper meaning,  but by something even more profound and unfathomable.  The river is wide and endless, and though from above I must look like nothing more then a tiny speck, from in my boat I can see the wholeness of the Universe.