On The Bright Side

     Its true, I am a person who walks thru life with a cheerful optimistic hopefulness.  I admit it, I am a wearer of rose colored glasses.  How I came to be this way I am not sure, it could be my basic nature, something in my genetics, where the planets were at the time of my birth, maybe its the food I eat, who knows.  One thing is certain, there is no use denying....I am what I am. 

 I think Popeye has a similar saying, although his with a bit more of a vegetarian flair. 

      I must confess, I am not always this way.  There are often times when I feel downright jaded, cynical, contrary, and accept it or not, even hostile.  I can't always be sweet and sunshine.  Most of what I write about has evolved as a direct result of my 'reaping from what I had foolishly sown' at one point or another in my life.  The truth is, I am a positive thinker because of all the negative experiences I have had.  Choosing to see things in a cheerful and optimistic way, I believe, brings more of the same good energy into my life. 

 Like calls to Like is my reasoning. 

     Sometimes, when I may not be in the best emotional place, I reread my blogs and wonder to myself... who is this person with these, "Be Positive, Think Happy, Love Everybody, Peace and Joy views.  I almost sound like a lost flower child from the 60's, although come to think of it, I was born in that decade, so maybe it did all start then.  To be honest, I spent most of my young life, shy, insecure, sad and alone.  I certainly didn't feel so cheerful.  The person I am now is altogether different.  I guess when I write, I am sharing my ultimate ideals, and yes, though I do try to live them everyday, the results are not always the same. 

     My good friend who has known me since I was a young 15 year old, was recently laughing at me while I was complaining to her about something I had just experienced.  Not only that, she actually started quoting to me from one of my own blogs, the one called, "Its not what you think." In it I spoke about the false expectation we place on others, and how I am so much happier living from a place of suspended anticipation. I assure you, I meant everything I said when I wrote it, and spent a considerable amount of time thinking and writing that particular one, yet she was right.  Obviously even I am having a hard time living up to my own professed standards and principles.  Though I write with the utmost sincerity, in the actual heat of the moment its not always easy to remember what it is I exactly believe, or even whether I want to follow my own advice.  I think for most people we have a certain processing system we function from, though we may stray here and there, basically our M.O. is the same.  Like Popeye, we all own our individual flair that we apply to most situations.  I may sometimes wander off my rainbow bright path now and again, but for me its where I feel safe, and back I go.   I guess my point is that no matter how unfavorable I may think, or how obstinate and gloomy I may behave at times, its undeniably certain that sooner or later I will be forced to slip my glasses back on so I can once again return to my rosy dream colored world of optimistic brightness. 

      Look on the bright side, unless I take them off sometimes,  how will I ever know when I have them on?

A New Day

     I hear the soft sounds of nature, the thumping footsteps of my children as they rise, their hushed murmurs greeting each other as they try not to wake me. Smiling I lay here, hoping they will think I am sleeping for just a little longer.
Some days I am more fully aware than others,
today is one of them.

I would like to wish everybody a
'Wonderful Good Morning!
It's A New Day and I am very thankful to be here.'

     Isn't it awe-inspiring how each day looms so huge before us, all possibilities countless and unlimited.  If only we would pause for a minute when we first awake from our hopefully restful slumber, to reflect on what an amazing gift we have been granted.   Some mornings we may feel a certain dread for what lies before us.  Perhaps we have serious business to attend, conflicts to face, or other scenarios we would rather avoid.  Days like those take a certain courage to embrace, and are not always an easy choice to be happy about.  I would like to believe whatever undetermined moments we have yet to encounter, from the time we open our eyes, to our last waking thoughts at night, somewhere in between we will be reminded of the miraculous reality of our existence.
Knowing we have the potential for amazing things doesn't necessarily mean we should feel pressured to perform at our highest capabilities at all times. Personally I take great pleasure in doing absolutely nothing but wandering from moment to moment, following the footsteps of my heart.  Believe me, those days are few and far between, and for this reason, highly treasured. 

     Being thankful for each day is a promise I made to myself long ago when I was a teenager sitting alone in the doctor's office. I had just been told I would be hospitalized for a very serious condition, which thankfully I have fully recovered from.  Sitting quietly in the cold and sterile room waiting to be admitted, frightened and suddenly aware I was not invincible.  Life no longer seemed endless and unstoppable.  I realized in that moment, how fortunate and unbelievably blessed we are to have the opportunity for each and every day.
Here I am numerous years later, no longer a scared teenager, a mother of 3 children, independent healthy and strong.  I am ever so grateful for the many life experiences which have brought me to this place in time.  Knowing my courage to survive, overcome, to greet each day with an open heart, was  directly born out of the ashes of darker days gone by. However this day unfolds, I accept it gladly for the glorious gift I know it to be.  I wish the same peaceful acceptance for you.
'Good Morning Everybody, It's a New Day!'
 May You Walk In Beauty
~Raven

The Longest Minute

In the last week, I have heard the unfortunate news of three very sad passings, all somehow connected to me by close friends and family. All were beloved sons, welcomed and greatly loved.  Their brief time ending much too soon, forever changing the lives of those left behind. Each story uniquely different.  

The first, a charismatic young man in his 20's, strong and healthy, he was in the prime of his life.  His greatest joy was to travel all over the world exploring our majestic planet, his spirit an adventurous one. Known by many for his passion for humanity and his vision of a healthy earth.  He died in an accident while backpacking in Norway.    

The second was a young man who was also in his 20's. His life being very different, as he was born with Muscular Dystrophy. He actually lived longer then expected. Every night his mother would carefully turn him over to help ease his pain and discomfort while he slept. By the time he passed away, he could barely move his hand to control his wheelchair. His family, especially his mother, made sure his days were filled with all the beauty and learning he could be surrounded with, a life very full for someone with such devastating health problems.

 The third, a newborn baby boy, born in mid September to my younger cousin in California. A celestial child, radiant and filled with the spirit of Pure Love and Innocence. This sweet angel came into our world with many serious health issues, and sadly, was not meant to bless us with his presence for long. Living only for a brief time, he gently touched the heart of every person he met, including his fleeting moments with his brother and sister. Unable to survive in such a fragile body, with great sorrow all those who had dreamed of his arrival and yearned for his existence, were forced to say their good-byes. Long before they even had a chance to see him smile. 

 From the coziness of my world, I watched these sad stories unfold around me, each of these young souls completely different in how they spent their moments on earth, yet connected by the miracle of their creation and the sacred bonds of family and friends. I saw the sorrow of loved ones from afar, their tears and broken hearts laid bare for all to see. Knowing that no matter how many years, months, days, hours or even minutes we can spend with our beloveds, it will never be enough. Life is precious, and we as human beings are forced to face these heart-rending losses alongside the incredible beauty and joy of being with our cherished ones. I have heard the saying used so many times how, "Life is too short," and perhaps it is, but I would like to challenge you to take this philosophy even further. Imagine, the hours wasted in conflict and disharmony with those we care about and love, amounting to nothing in comparison to the 'Longest Minute in the Universe,' spent gazing into the eyes of our dearest treasures. A simple message from me to you.  Love your children, your family, your sweethearts and friends.
Being able to stretch out each and every magical minute gifted to us into something both special and meaningful, would be a better use of our time and energy, then choosing to waste any one of our valuable moments together in misunderstanding or strife. Its been almost 20 years since I spoke to my father, and yesterday I called to tell him how much I missed having him in my life and how I will always love him. A healing moment for both of us, long overdue. For the three angelic souls who have gone on in their Sacred Journey, thank you for the miracle of your existence. In the briefness of your hours here with us, you have brought great joy and touched the hearts of many. Truly you will be forever missed.
May You Walk In Beauty,
~Raven

It's Not What You Think

Expectations: The act or state of looking forward or anticipating

     We all have expectations of almost everything in life...our jobs, our children, our family, our friends and lovers, our cars.  What happens when these hopes are not met?  Is it fair to place our assumption that someone or something is going to act in a given way, and then be disappointed if our imagined predictions don't come true.  I understand that some situations are obvious, if I behave or speak in a certain way then its pretty safe to assume I am going to get an almost inevitable result.  If I don't change the oil in my car, EVER, then it's more then likely I can expect to have problems.  These expectations or beliefs are almost factual in their beginnings, and not my main focus. 

The dilemma for most I believe, are the expectations we place on others to meet our emotional and personal needs, which we feel we are deserving of, or owed to us, almost as a direct measure of our worth. When these unspoken promises are not fulfilled, we may feel disheartened and less valued.  Also upsetting is when we are questioning or even convinced someone has special feelings for us, and we place our anticipations based on what we think they will say, or choose to do in a specific situation,  hopefully reinforcing our assumptions, and when they don't cooperate.....we wonder, what does that mean?
How about when our perceived entitlements are ALMOST but not quite met, forcing us to choose whether we are completely satisfied, or LOWERING our hopes even further so that it appears we've actually received our desired outcome.
 I find this to be a confusing circle of getting nowhere real fast. Why do we do this to ourselves?  Not only believing, but embracing our 'Delusions of Grandeur,' thinking we are able to surmise just how a person should think or act. Its almost like we create an imaginary Theater in our heads with a cast of characters who don't even know their parts, and We as the Directors and sole Editors, are dismayed at the lack of good help these days.

Personally, I would much rather not concern myself with what someone is going to say or do for me, and then be pleasantly surprised at what comes my way.  I choose to live by the code of:
"I will follow my heart and live without expectations, this way, whatever shared between two people is freely given without expectation of something in return."
Living without creating limits on others is so much more fun, eliminates disappointments, and places the exclusive responsibility for our happiness on ourselves, exactly where it truly belongs.

 Learning to give up our expected outcomes is the gift that keeps on giving, and allows the opportunity for unimaginable beauty and joy to come our way.  Now, when something wonderful and unexpected happens you can accept it for what it is, a treasure freely bestowed, without ever having to rehearse a single line, or even worse having to call for a rewriting of the entire script.

Eyes of Innocence and Wisdom

I once read if you were having trouble understanding or liking someone, to imagine them as a young baby or a very old person. I have tried this on many occasions and I must say it works well. Babies are innocent souls with sweet little faces, it’s easy to be emotionally swayed. For some people the elderly are not as lovable. Personally I have always had a fondness for the venerable ones. Both ages can be fragile and carry within a certain vulnerability, a close connection to the world of Spirit.

When I first moved to New England I became a companion for older adults. My job was to assist elders to live independently in their homes as long as possible. I would help by driving to beauty salons, appointments, cemeteries to visit loved ones, grocery shopping, voting or just out for fresh air. All the things they could no longer accomplish by themselves. Mostly I found they were in need of affection and someone to listen to their history. A multitude of memories to be shared, which thankfully I loved to hear over and over and over again. Being energetic, I was forced to speak and move at a much slower pace. I learned a lot about living in the moment from my older friends. I considered myself a paid granddaughter and felt honored to benefit by their wisdom and time spent on this earth. I had favorites, but my absolute was a woman who shared my birth date named Gere. She was in her 80's and suffered from Alzheimers. On our first meeting I had no idea what to expect and was taken aback by her anxious energy. Imagine having little short term memory, not really understanding what is happening, and you can see why she appeared this way. I wanted to leave immediately and felt unsure how to respond, but looking into her eyes she seemed so lost. I reached out my hand and gently entered her life. What a joy she turned out to be. We became close over the next few years spending countless hours together. She loved to go for lengthy car rides, greatly cherishing the simple pleasures of life. The destination never mattered, she forgot anyways. As long as we were together she didn't care. We visited gardens where we would wander carefully, her steps shaky on the stone paths. Sitting peacefully in the sunshine she would speak to me of happy days gone by. 
She enjoyed having a cup of tea with a sugary treat on the side. Many times, forgetting we had just finished moments earlier, she would say ever so sweetly, "Honey, wouldn't a cup of tea be wonderful right now?" Though her last years were difficult, as I couldn't always be there, I would like to think I made a big difference in her life. I often found notes scattered throughout the house about her angel who would come to visit, I miss her very much. One of her greatest hopes was to be remembered after she passed, and the answer is, "Yes my Dear Friend I will always remember and think of you with Love." I took a class on grieving around this same period. The main idea was to encourage caregivers to be empathetic to an older person's feelings. Reminding us how life is filled with unavoidable loss as you age, often affecting physical mobility, vision, independence, or the hardest of all, the passing of friends and family. This class was difficult to undergo, but it challenged me to live in gratitude, to be thankful for my blessings. To 'Walk in Beauty' is my choice, one I make every day. I trust easily because of this. I try to remember we are connected by the common desire to be heard, and above else, our unrelenting need to be loved. Next time you are in conflict with someone, look into their eyes and see the innocence of a baby newly born into this world, or the fragile spirit of a person who has suffered greatly. Our paths may be different, but our beginnings and endings, although unique, are all the same.

In Peace,
~Raven

To Mow or Not to Mow

     One of my biggest fears after learning I was soon to be single was...."How am I going to mow the lawn?"  Crazy I know, but there it is.  I had been a stay at home mama for almost 9 years.  I was great at taking care of the children and everything within the household, cooking, cleaning, organizing, homeschooling, I was very busy.  The lawn however was an uncharted land, an endless sea of green, vast and foreign.  This unfamiliar responsibility loomed huge before me on my already large list.  Little did I know that shoveling the driveway would be even worse. Not to mention my new chore of stacking several cords of wood and transferring 3 tons of 40 lb bags of wood pellets from my front yard, through my house down to my basement and back up the stairs one exhausting bag at a time.  It turns out mowing the lawn was the easy part!
     My first snow storm by myself was a huge blizzard.  Boldly I floundered out to my immense driveway with my little children in tow, each armed with our shovels and positive vibrations.  I am not sure when it hit me, possibly into the 2nd hour or so... that I was getting nowhere.  Standing there buried up to my knees in the deep compact snow I realized I had accomplished nothing more then a mere dent towards getting my car out.  In my estimation I had another 5 hours of hard grueling labor ahead of me.  Glaring at my neighbors across the street with their hardy teenagers and 2 snowplows I began ranting and raving to my icy children about how able people should help poor single defenseless women and freezing children in distress.  I then burst into tears, totally overwhelmed with everything.   My life felt like a blizzard gone mad.  My neighbors couldn't hear me over the roar of their machines, but I think my distress was obvious because they soon came driving to the rescue in their mini plows and saved the day.  I barely restrained myself from groveling at their feet in gratitude, it was bad enough I stood there and cried the whole time.  Now I know better.  I don't wait until the end of a blizzard to start my clean up, I go out several times during a storm, and thinking ahead I move my car to the bottom of the driveway, making my life a lot easier.   My children are also much bigger and able to help more, making a huge difference with all we have to do.  Thank goodness I have a generous and kind friend who will never say no to the chance of helping us whatever way he can.  My children and I have grown up a lot over these last 4 winters, especially myself.  I am amazed at my physical accomplishments, and I no longer cry when I shovel the driveway.  In fact last year I actually felt a sort of peace with the beauty of standing outside under the sparkly icy night sky, shovel in my hand.  I have become a new kind of warrior,  I feel good being able to take care of the inside and outside of my house.  Stacking wood is a lesson in meditation and I find it quite relaxing.  I love the feeling of looking out over my expanse of wood piles knowing we will be warm for the winter.   Mowing the lawn is still not my favorite, however once done I can enjoy the nice view off my deck looking out over the lake.  Life is good and I am grateful to have a home to take care of in any season.  This California woman is no longer afraid of mowers, freezing temperatures or winter storms.  My next task is to make friends with my nemesis the generator, all those cords, buttons and thingies are a little intimidating.....Help!

No Need to Ask, I Will Tell you Anyway

     Writing from my heart does make me feel exposed and somewhat vulnerable.  Sharing oneself publicly through the written word can be very intimate. I don't often care what people may think of my views, but I sometimes wonder why I am so open.  Obviously I could keep a private journal if it really bothered me.  I think its in the revealing where I find my satisfaction, almost as if the act of admission makes my feelings and ideas more concrete.  I have a much better understanding of what I am about since I have been confessing...I mean...writing.  Perhaps my dilemma lies in the fact I consider myself to be an open and friendly person, yet reserved and very private.  My mother always told me never to put anything in writing, although I'm sure this is not what she had in mind.  I think this may actually be worse.   

     Lately, when questioning my beliefs, I reflect back on previous blogs as if they were my new manual.  I imagine by boldly declaring my thoughts it somehow makes them more valid.  I admit to being one of those people who talk to myself out loud, it helps me think.  Writing for me does the same thing.  Its a form of group healing, and its free.  Lucky for you I can't seem to write about the 'Beauty in my life,' without balancing it with my personal struggles. One seems to influence the other.    

     I do find great pleasure in my shared  musings, so for all of you ....
~Wonderful Open-Minded People~
who take the time to read my words,
"Thank you from the bottom of my unveiled heart."
Perhaps I should contemplate putting together a Mexican Cookbook instead.  This way I can continue my hobby without disclosing any intimate thoughts.  Maybe I could squeeze in some of my philosophy and not be so obvious, like..."When cooking tortillas be MINDFUL you don't burn them, TRUST your INSTINCTS to know when done, and ENJOY each bite, for LIFE is very SACRED."
Maybe that's too subtle...
~Raven

The Little Girl and The Fedora

     This is a true story of what happened to me when I was a little girl.  I do not tell many people because of its sensitive nature, but since I have entered this world of expressing myself I believe I am ready to share.  It all started when I was very small, probably around the age of five.  I awoke early one morning, with the hopes of watching some exciting Saturday cartoons and tiptoed quietly out into the hall of my home in Santa Monica, California.  Leaning casually against a wall, wearing a long black overcoat and a Fedora style hat placed low and slightly tilted across his head, was a Spirit Man.  Some people may use the word ghost, but in this scenario it seems almost too commonplace for what I saw standing before me.  Even at my young age I recognized the fact that he wasn't fully there, more like an impression or memory of his Earth-Bound self.  To this day his image is firmly engraved in my memory along with a certain warm feeling of familiarity.  He seemed to be waiting for someone, and I assumed... I believe correctly.... that it was me.  I couldn't see his facial features clearly but I knew we both recognized in each other a kindred spirit.  Time stood still in this misty dreamlike moment, unable to feel anything but a sense of deep awe and surprise I did nothing but stand there memorizing his every detail.  I was never scared,  however the mystery and unknowing soon became too much for my small self to handle and back to bed I ran.   I stayed cleverly hidden, huddled beneath the cocoon of my blankets until sounds of Bugs Bunny and the smells of a delicious breakfast filled the air.  Later my mother greeted this news with a nonchalance I wasn't expecting, and soon the issue seemed to be dropped as a main topic, but I never really forget. 

      This happening by itself may not appear strange to many people, sighting of ghosts or spirits have been around since the beginning of man.  I am sure many of my ancestors had their own experiences of this strange and mystical world.  I would even think that as people who lived so closely connected to the rhythms of Nature and Earth, these sightings may not have been as startling as they might be to someone living now in our modern society of concrete and technology.  

     I bring this first occurrence up because I believe it is strongly connected to the main part of my story which happened a few years later.  One of my favorite past times back then was to play with a tape recorder acting as a newspaper reporter.  I would lay there in the solitary world of my room creating all different kinds of stories of investigations, interviewing imaginary people I would pretend to meet on the street.  On this day in particular I was having an especially fine time when my mother called me to come for lunch.  Leaving my recorder on my bed I ran to grab my sandwich (I even remember the pickle on the side), bringing it quickly back to my room to listen to my clever ramblings while I ate.   The recording started off fine at first, but after a few minutes my words were abruptly cut off and a certain distant whooshing sound of quiet breathing became apparent.  No longer was my young clear voice heard, instead there was a man's voice, slightly distorted, with the words drawn out almost in an exaggerated way.  "Donnnnnaaaaa, I missssss youuuuuu, Please come home.....Donnnaaaaa, I love you......commmmeee hommmeeeeeeee..."  More whooshing sounds and then once again, "Donnnnnaaaa Pleassseeeee...," fading off into a distant and erie silence. My childish banter suddenly returned as if there had never been an interruption, startling me back into a sort of stunned awareness.   My mother this time was not able to hide her feelings behind a calm facade, for we were all deeply affected.  For those who may be skeptical, my father was off to work that day and both my sisters and brother were too young to create a deception such as this.  Returning quickly to my room took no more then a few minutes, and I believe no other explanations were to be found.   I had this tape for about 2 years and even took it to school one day for show and tell.  I recall the shocked look on my teacher's face when she first listened to my message from beyond, once heard the authenticity was hard to deny. 

 I can clearly summon up the day I found my fresh baby sister sitting in the middle of the floor wrapped  head to toe with the remains of the destroyed cassette tape.  Apparently I was not meant

 to keep it forever. 

 I have wondered over the years what has become of my Spirit Man, I have not seen or heard from him since, at least not in any obvious way.  Perhaps he quietly visits me sometimes from the shadows in the line between worlds, and I unaware, go about my days wondering why it is that I feel surrounded by a loving protection.  One day I shall be able to ask him  just what we meant to each other.  Until then I am content, forever grateful for this miraculous gift, for it opened my eyes at a very young age to the breathless wonder and sacredness of our heart connections.   Reaching out across the barriers of Time and Space, beyond our perceived boundaries of Life or Death, it appears to be absolutely true that

 Love really is both Limitless and Eternal.

Princess and the Pebbles

     My children and I often enjoy camping out in the great outdoors.  I am pretty good about handling some of the inconveniences of going primitive, but I must admit to spending a lot of time and energy on my sleeping comfort.  By the time our van is packed and we are ready to set out on our grand adventure, I can barely see over the huge pile of blankets and foam pads that I insist on bringing.  I tell my children every time as we are lugging the heavy mountain of luxury bedding from house to van -to tent -to van again -and then back into the house...that I am like the Princess and the Pea.  You know, the fairy tale where only a True Princess could feel a tiny pea under her 20 mattresses.  I can't see their faces behind the stack of comforters they stagger under, but I am almost positive they don't find this to be in the least bit amusing.
 I could end this short story right now and I am sure you would be quite content learning this new and important detail about my life.  However if you have come to know my style thru some of my writings you
will know that I do have a point to this silliness.
   My ability to feel small pebbles and sticks is really a bigger clue to my new found sensitivity in understanding my level of tolerance of what I will now accept in my life.  When I was younger I did not have the same keenness or discernment as I do now.  My world was an open window in which many strange birds flew in, coming and going whenever they pleased.  I welcomed these new experiences and found that living from a place of not knowing what could come next was quite exciting... but not always.  Now as a slightly older and much wiser version of myself, I have come to realize that my energy and time are extremely precious and not to be lost through careless or unwanted indulgences.  Armed and ready with my well earned expertise I can evaluate rather quickly whether something, or someone, will need way too many fluffy barriers between us for it to be a good or healthy connection . I am not saying I am closing myself off to new experiences, for to live otherwise would be a quick ending to my joyful days.  I am merely professing to being a lot more perceptive in my ability to recognize the sticks and stones that may interfere with my cushioned comfort.
 Being a True Princess has its usual sacrifices, but a sound sleep shouldn't be one of them.

Trust ~ It's in the Details

Several years ago when I was going through a hard time, I would seek out affirmations that would help me to feel good and to encourage me to move forward in a positive way.  I would repeat these words over and over until I became convinced of their truth.  One of my favorite affirmations I continue to use

to this day is, "I Trust in the Process of Life."

Seven simple words yet if you think like I do, totally complex in their meaning.  Recently, like in the middle of the night, I came to a sudden realization.  I had understood these words to mean, "Wherever it is I am, I can trust all is working out for the benefit of my total well-being.  My life is part of a divine plan, blessed and guided by God Himself."   You can see why this is one of my most calming beliefs, one in which I have placed a lot of faith.  My interpretation, although lovely to believe and easy on the heart, does seem to carry with it one fatal flaw which I never noticed before, and that is..."If our lives are so beautifully destined, then how do my actions affect the grand picture?  Can I mess everything up with one false step, how do I know whether I am making the right choices?  What if I make a mistake somewhere along the line, and like leaves falling one on top of the other my simple error somehow grows into a considerably large pile of miscalculations taking me further and further from my ultimate good.  Clearly I select from life's ingredients as I go along, a little of this...a whole lot of that...and like a consecrated recipe I arrive fully by my own efforts to a significant spot.  I wonder, "If I am guided by a Superior Power, then should I not also trust my actions are just as divinely inspired?"  

 I know I am far from perfect, nor is it my intention to be so, however for this theory to work, I would have to believe I make no mistakes.  Accepting my destiny is well and good.  Believing I can trust the minuscule designs I create with my daily decisions, knowing they are blessed and part of the great design, would be wonderful.  Recognizing I am part of the sacred thread weaving the strands of my own beautiful tapestry somehow empowers me to look back at my previous steps along the way and see in them the perfect patterns of my choices. 
Trusting, I have discovered, begins with me.
In Sacred Detail
~Raven

Rules to Live By

I would imagine having ' Rules to Live by ' are a pretty common trait with many people.  I have always prided myself on being a Free Spirit ~ Follow my Heart kind of person, and I really am that way....its true...I'm sure of it....I wouldn't make up something like this....would I? 

 I believe we, the human race, like to define ourselves with certain qualities and traits giving us an identity or way of belonging.  For myself I am part of the~

 Bare Footed~ California Beach Girl, Gypsy, Empowered Woman Society. 

 Commonly known for our Mystical, Carefree ways, and also slightly feared for our ~Don't Mess with Me I can do Everything by Myself~ way of thinking.  Of course there are a few more categories I could also define myself by, but I can't tell you everything.  This for your information, is firmly stated in Chapter 2 entitled, "How to be Mysterious," written in my very own Personal Handbook of Rules and Regulations.  Yes it's true, I the Wild Independent woman I profess myself to be, have a 'Book of Rules' to live by, and frankly I think it needs to be updated and revised.  I'm not saying my standard procedures have not served me well in the past, otherwise why else would they be there.  Just because some of these regulations were written as a young child, wayward adolescent, and freaked out teenager doesn't mean they aren't valid.  How about the ones I created from my walks thru the dark valleys of life....are those no longer true??  
 Lately I have realized many of the practices I choose to live by are ways for keeping me safe.  Not like being safe in a dark alley (that's another handbook), but safe in an emotional, self-protection kind of way.  Playing it cool is good sometimes, but as a 'Follow Your Heart' kind of woman, the results are slightly unsatisfying.  We all know no matter how much we want to avoid the fact, that life sometimes can be filled with Disappointment, Heartbreak & Despair.  My misguided belief I am protecting myself from these unwanted feelings by my code of Customary Actions and Responses, may be preventing me from experiencing some of the better and more fulfilling things in life like.. Joy, Excitement, Passion and Intensity.  Don't get me wrong, I do feel and experience these things...but not as often or as consistantly as I would like.  Staying true to myself and my sense of identity is very important to me.  Maybe instead of rewriting the whole handbook I can just add on a new rule in the end:

 If all else Fails Disregard Everything Previously Written

Live Fearlessly & Give Totally, No Regrets!

... being safe is highly over-rated anyways:)

Season of the Falling Leaf Moon

     It's the season of the Falling Leaf Moon, a time to move past hot summer days of adventure, into the chilly autumn moments of preparation and reflection.  For those of you who were lucky enough to see the Harvest Moon in September it was an awe inspiring sight. Beauty like this can't help but awaken us to the Creator's Love for all beings and our Sacred Connection to everything that Is.  Though I would like to be inspired every day, there are often times when I get so caught up in the complexities and concerns of survival that I forget to look up and around, to see the visions of brilliance and grace that surround us.  Thankfully not every reminder has to be as big and glorious as the Harvest Moon to startle
me back into awareness.  Happily, even the simplest movement of a butterfly dancing in the sunlight will usually return me to a state of reverence and gratitude.
     Many long moons ago when I first began my journey of self-discovery, I would often set out on unplanned road trips, no particular destination in mind, navigated by impulse, intuition and my inability to read maps.  Several of these inspirational trips ended up with me roaming thru the Redwoods of Northern California.  These experiences more than any others, were life changing in helping me to fulfill my longing for serenity and my ongoing quest for Beauty and Truth.   Never before had I heard so clearly and loudly the songs of nature as I did walking through those ancient forests.  The majestic ringing of their voices filled my soul, a presence and holiness so deep, surpassing my knowledge of everything I thought I had ever known.  This memory forever stored in the recesses of my heart, along with visions of the daily ~ minute by minute ~ divine occurrences that we so often take for granted, are all I need to remind me of who I really am, and why I am even here in the first place.  These voices of primal magnificence continue to echo within, firmly etched upon my spirit.   For I am a child and sister to the Harvest Moon, a daughter and soul companion to the Ancient Trees, a friend and fellow traveler to the  Dancing Butterflies....connected to all without ever having to try, a glorious gift, free without boundaries,  Unconditionally Valued and Loved for all of Eternity.  I know this to be true because I heard it from the Trees themselves.

Look Straight Ahead There's Nothing but 'Blue Skies

     I was reminded of this Jimmy Cliff song early this morning, and now I can't stop singing it.  I have this desire to run outside my door, throw my arms up into the air and with my imaginary band start singing loudly and beautifully for the whole world to hear.
"I can see clearly now the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way,  here is the rainbow I've been praying for......Its gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day!"
Of course the reality of this dream would be somewhat less then this joyful vision since singing is not really one of my gifts, and my band is still sleeping... but you get my drift.
  Music is such a powerful force and universally appealing in its language and inspiration.  One moment you can be laying peacefully in bed and the next you are wanting to run wildly through the streets smiling and hugging everyone you meet.   Especially when its a song that seems to express your spirit of joy and way of being.  Unfortunately today I will have to leave my bongos at home, but even so I can choose to carry this song within my very heart and soul where it will have no choice but to spill out to everyone I meet.  Time to get up and put on my running moccasins because I know,
"Its gonna be a bright ~ bright sunshiny day"
look out world here I come :)
May You Walk In Beauty and Song
~Raven

Wild Winds of Change

Outside the winds are blowing wildly, the air is warm and filled with an unmistakable energy that I haven't felt in a long while.  The night is getting late and I am tired from my long day of responsibilities.  I have walked this road many times before and it is a good one.  Routines can make us feel peaceful and safe, keeping us on track to accomplish our daily activities, secure in our knowledge that life will continue to move in the same and familiar direction. Our minds and realities become sleepy in the commonness of our sure and predictable choices.  Many times we hesitate, unwilling or unable, to seek out the less traveled paths offered along the way.  Avoiding change, following the same steps as those before us, happy and content to stay where we are.  One day waking up to the fact that nothing is further from the truth, for life is all about something being made different.  Our bodies are continually reinventing themselves, and unless we choose to be stagnant in our thoughts and feelings, these too are in constant fluctuation.  Change is a blessing and not always a welcome one.  No matter how we understand it to be, transformation is undeniably woven into the fabric of our being, deeply rooted in all of Creation.  Clearly written for us to see in the phasing of the moon, day into night, and the turning of seasons one to another.  Changes are everywhere and in everything, our very existence relies upon this truth.  To be alive is to transform.  The winds are blowing wildly and I am ready~