I believe we, the human race, like to define ourselves with certain qualities and traits giving us an identity or way of belonging. For myself I am part of the~
Bare Footed~ California Beach Girl, Gypsy, Empowered Woman Society.
Commonly known for our Mystical, Carefree ways, and also slightly feared for our ~Don't Mess with Me I can do Everything by Myself~ way of thinking. Of course there are a few more categories I could also define myself by, but I can't tell you everything. This for your information, is firmly stated in Chapter 2 entitled, "How to be Mysterious," written in my very own Personal Handbook of Rules and Regulations. Yes it's true, I the Wild Independent woman I profess myself to be, have a 'Book of Rules' to live by, and frankly I think it needs to be updated and revised. I'm not saying my standard procedures have not served me well in the past, otherwise why else would they be there. Just because some of these regulations were written as a young child, wayward adolescent, and freaked out teenager doesn't mean they aren't valid. How about the ones I created from my walks thru the dark valleys of life....are those no longer true??
Lately I have realized many of the practices I choose to live by are ways for keeping me safe. Not like being safe in a dark alley (that's another handbook), but safe in an emotional, self-protection kind of way. Playing it cool is good sometimes, but as a 'Follow Your Heart' kind of woman, the results are slightly unsatisfying. We all know no matter how much we want to avoid the fact, that life sometimes can be filled with Disappointment, Heartbreak & Despair. My misguided belief I am protecting myself from these unwanted feelings by my code of Customary Actions and Responses, may be preventing me from experiencing some of the better and more fulfilling things in life like.. Joy, Excitement, Passion and Intensity. Don't get me wrong, I do feel and experience these things...but not as often or as consistantly as I would like. Staying true to myself and my sense of identity is very important to me. Maybe instead of rewriting the whole handbook I can just add on a new rule in the end:
Lately I have realized many of the practices I choose to live by are ways for keeping me safe. Not like being safe in a dark alley (that's another handbook), but safe in an emotional, self-protection kind of way. Playing it cool is good sometimes, but as a 'Follow Your Heart' kind of woman, the results are slightly unsatisfying. We all know no matter how much we want to avoid the fact, that life sometimes can be filled with Disappointment, Heartbreak & Despair. My misguided belief I am protecting myself from these unwanted feelings by my code of Customary Actions and Responses, may be preventing me from experiencing some of the better and more fulfilling things in life like.. Joy, Excitement, Passion and Intensity. Don't get me wrong, I do feel and experience these things...but not as often or as consistantly as I would like. Staying true to myself and my sense of identity is very important to me. Maybe instead of rewriting the whole handbook I can just add on a new rule in the end:
If all else Fails Disregard Everything Previously Written
Live Fearlessly & Give Totally, No Regrets!
... being safe is highly over-rated anyways:)
