I once read if you were having trouble understanding or liking someone, to imagine them as a young baby or a very old person. I have tried this on many occasions and I must say it works well. Babies are innocent souls with sweet little faces, it’s easy to be emotionally swayed. For some people the elderly are not as lovable. Personally I have always had a fondness for the venerable ones. Both ages can be fragile and carry within a certain vulnerability, a close connection to the world of Spirit.
When I first moved to New England I became a companion for older adults. My job was to assist elders to live independently in their homes as long as possible. I would help by driving to beauty salons, appointments, cemeteries to visit loved ones, grocery shopping, voting or just out for fresh air. All the things they could no longer accomplish by themselves. Mostly I found they were in need of affection and someone to listen to their history. A multitude of memories to be shared, which thankfully I loved to hear over and over and over again. Being energetic, I was forced to speak and move at a much slower pace. I learned a lot about living in the moment from my older friends. I considered myself a paid granddaughter and felt honored to benefit by their wisdom and time spent on this earth. I had favorites, but my absolute was a woman who shared my birth date named Gere. She was in her 80's and suffered from Alzheimers. On our first meeting I had no idea what to expect and was taken aback by her anxious energy. Imagine having little short term memory, not really understanding what is happening, and you can see why she appeared this way. I wanted to leave immediately and felt unsure how to respond, but looking into her eyes she seemed so lost. I reached out my hand and gently entered her life. What a joy she turned out to be. We became close over the next few years spending countless hours together. She loved to go for lengthy car rides, greatly cherishing the simple pleasures of life. The destination never mattered, she forgot anyways. As long as we were together she didn't care. We visited gardens where we would wander carefully, her steps shaky on the stone paths. Sitting peacefully in the sunshine she would speak to me of happy days gone by.
She enjoyed having a cup of tea with a sugary treat on the side. Many times, forgetting we had just finished moments earlier, she would say ever so sweetly, "Honey, wouldn't a cup of tea be wonderful right now?" Though her last years were difficult, as I couldn't always be there, I would like to think I made a big difference in her life. I often found notes scattered throughout the house about her angel who would come to visit, I miss her very much. One of her greatest hopes was to be remembered after she passed, and the answer is, "Yes my Dear Friend I will always remember and think of you with Love." I took a class on grieving around this same period. The main idea was to encourage caregivers to be empathetic to an older person's feelings. Reminding us how life is filled with unavoidable loss as you age, often affecting physical mobility, vision, independence, or the hardest of all, the passing of friends and family. This class was difficult to undergo, but it challenged me to live in gratitude, to be thankful for my blessings. To 'Walk in Beauty' is my choice, one I make every day. I trust easily because of this. I try to remember we are connected by the common desire to be heard, and above else, our unrelenting need to be loved. Next time you are in conflict with someone, look into their eyes and see the innocence of a baby newly born into this world, or the fragile spirit of a person who has suffered greatly. Our paths may be different, but our beginnings and endings, although unique, are all the same.
She enjoyed having a cup of tea with a sugary treat on the side. Many times, forgetting we had just finished moments earlier, she would say ever so sweetly, "Honey, wouldn't a cup of tea be wonderful right now?" Though her last years were difficult, as I couldn't always be there, I would like to think I made a big difference in her life. I often found notes scattered throughout the house about her angel who would come to visit, I miss her very much. One of her greatest hopes was to be remembered after she passed, and the answer is, "Yes my Dear Friend I will always remember and think of you with Love." I took a class on grieving around this same period. The main idea was to encourage caregivers to be empathetic to an older person's feelings. Reminding us how life is filled with unavoidable loss as you age, often affecting physical mobility, vision, independence, or the hardest of all, the passing of friends and family. This class was difficult to undergo, but it challenged me to live in gratitude, to be thankful for my blessings. To 'Walk in Beauty' is my choice, one I make every day. I trust easily because of this. I try to remember we are connected by the common desire to be heard, and above else, our unrelenting need to be loved. Next time you are in conflict with someone, look into their eyes and see the innocence of a baby newly born into this world, or the fragile spirit of a person who has suffered greatly. Our paths may be different, but our beginnings and endings, although unique, are all the same.
In Peace,
~Raven
~Raven
